Cold Hard Cash
by Seymour Butz
Summary: Alvin claims finder's keepers when he finds a box full of money on the doorstep, but what happens when those who originally parted with it come looking for it? Rated T for drug content, and drug-war/cartel satire.
1. Finder's Keepers

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter One "Finder's Keepers"

In haste, a lone figure flees like a wild animal from a cage, clutching onto a small cardboard box for dear life. Looking over his shoulder every other second, making sure he isn't being pursued, if he is caught, it will mean the end of his life. He has nowhere to go, and he has nowhere to hide, but perhaps there is someplace he can hide his prized possession. After nearly wearing himself out, the young man ran into a quiet suburban neighborhood, figuring this would be the last place anyone would look for anything. After setting his sights on the large, well maintained house down the road, with the red roof, and white picket fence outside, he made his way over to the front door.

"You've caused me nothing but misfortune, and humiliation!" The man said, to the box as he dropped it on the front step. "If I don't know where you are... they don't know where you are..."

Looking over his shoulders again, the man took off in a flash, never bothering to return to the house of which he dropped his box, all the while inside the house, it's business as usual.

"Alvin, will you please leave me alone?" Simon asked, in frustration. "I need to concentrate on my automatic laundry folding machine..."

"All I'm asking for is a lousy ten bucks!" Alvin said.

"You'll get nothing from me." Simon said, sternly.

"What?" Alvin responded. "Ten bucks! You can't spare your own brother, your own flesh and blood, a mere ten bucks?"

Simon sighed, and rummaged through his pocket before he pulled out a small slip of paper, and handed it to his older brother.

"What's this?" Alvin asked, observing the paper.

"Your tab..." Simon said.

"Tab?"

"See that thirty five at the bottom?"

"Yeah... so?"

"That's how much money you still owe," Simon said, "until you make good on your word that you'll pay me back what you owe me, you're getting no more from me."

"I told you I'm good for it!" Alvin insisted.

"Everyone who believes that, stand on your head." Simon said, sarcastically.

Alvin crumpled up the piece of paper, tossed it at Simon's head, and stormed up the stairs from the basement, muttering with each step. Once upstairs, Alvin casually slipped into the kitchen, where his youngest brother, Theodore, was making himself a collosal sandwiched at the counter.

"Theodore!" Alvin called out, happily.

Theodore was startled by Alvin's outburst, so much in fact, he nearly knocked over his sandwiched, but saved it just in time.

"How are you doing Theodore, buddy? Pal? Chum? Lil' bro?" Alvin asked, sweetly.

"Um... you're not up to something, are you Alvin?" Theodore asked, hesitantly.

"Why do you ask?" Alvin asked, wrapping an arm around Theodore's shoulders.

"Because anytime you try to butter me up, you're always up to something." Theodore said.

"Me? Buttering you up? Never!" Alvin said. "You're already as sweet as they come, you don't need buttering up... you're always ready to lend someone a helping hand when they need it the most."

"Well..." Theodore said, unsure as to whether or not that was a complement.

"And speaking of needy, how about lending your favorite big brother ten dollars?" Alvin asked.

"Which one?" Theodore asked.

"What do you mean which one?" Alvin asked.

"Well, I have two favorite big brothers!" Theodore said with a smile, knowing he could never really choose favorites between Alvin and Simon.

"Oh brother..." Alvin mumbled, under his breath. "Let me put it to you this way, can you lend me ten dollars?"

"Sure I can!" Theodore said.

"Thanks, Theodore!" Alvin squealed, holding out his hands.

"But I don't have ten dollars at the moment, I already spent the money I was saving up for my new super deluxe chocolate fondue maker." Theodore said. "Why don't you ask Simon?"

"Simon turned on me." Alvin said, in a pouting tone, hoping to gain Theodore's sympathy.

"Oh..." Theodore said, "then, why not ask Dave?"

"You think I want Dave to know I'm blowing money on Roberta?" Alvin asked, before quickly slapping his hands over his mouth.

"Roberta?" Theodore asked. "The new girl at school?"

Alvin darted his eyes back and forth. "I uh... I was... going to buy her... uh... a... a school warming present?"

"School warming?" Theodore asked, in confusion.

"Yeah," Alvin lied, "you know how when people move into a new house, their loved ones get them a house warming present? I was going to buy Roberta a school warming present!"

"Oh, how nice!" Theodore said. "Well, surely Dave would loan you ten dollars for that, wouldn't he?"

Alvin rolled his eyes, while Theodore went back to making his sandwich. "You have been a big help, Theodore." Alvin mumbled, as he trudged out of the kitchen.

"Anytime!" Theodore said, happily.

Alvin blew air out of his mouth in frustration, as he opened the front door, he decided if he couldn't get money from his brothers, and wouldn't dare ask Dave for a handout, he'd go next door and charm Brittany with empty promises to get money from her. No sooner did Alvin step foot outside the door, did he fall over an object on the front porch. Alvin picked himself up, and leaned over to observe the box. "Probably another care package for Dave..." Alvin deduced, when he picked up the box, and brought it into the living room. Alvin dropped the box on the coffee table, and prepared to head out again, before he stopped and realized something. "Oh, it must be that subscription of comic books I ordered six weeks ago!" Alvin raced back over to the box, ripped the tape off the top, and opened it up, expecting to be met with the face of his favorite cartoon characters, but instead found money. A lot of money. More money than he could even count. Alvin jaw dropped, and his eyes widened. Where did the money come from, he wondered, but not for long, because as far as he was concerned, finder's keepers, and he was rich. Filthy rich. Alvin stuck his head into the box, and took a big whiff of the money, to him, it was the aroma of mansions, yachts, friends, and anything else he could think of to spend it on. A short time later, Alvin snuck the box up to his room, where he went to work dividing some of the money. "Here's the thirty five I owe to Simon... he's the three dollars Dave needs me to earn for him to put into the household repairs that weren't really my fault anyway... here's fifty I owe Brittany for the past three years..." Shortly thereafter, Alvin went back down into Simon's lab, and slowly began waving money in front of Simon's eyes.

"Couldn't sponge off me, so you took advantage of poor Theodore?" Simon asked, with a sigh.

"Nope," Alvin said, cooly, "this is the thirty five bucks I owe you."

"Don't kid yourself, Alvin." Simon said, growing annoyed.

"Here! Count it yourself!" Alvin said, as he shoved it down Simon's shirt collar.

Simon pulled the money out of his shirt, and slowly counted it. He couldn't believe it, it hadn't been five minutes when he refused to loan Alvin anymore money because he still owed him thirty five dollars. In disbelief, Simon counted the money again, very carefully. Thirty five dollars. "It's here!" Simon said, astounded, "it's all here!"

"Of course!" Alvin said.

"What, do you have your own secret printing press upstairs? Let me see this..." Simon walked over to his desk, and pulled out a special marker from his pencil cup, and proceeded to mark each of the bills his brother handed him. "They're real! Where did you get this?!"

"Ask me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies!" Alvin said, as he made his way back upstairs. Within a matter of seconds, Theodore had two thirds of his huge sandwich eaten, when Alvin walked up to him. "Hey Theodore, how would you like to make an extra ten dollars?"

"How?" Theodore asked. "Take up a paper route?"

"Nope." Alvin said, "just tell me how great it is having me as a brother!"

"How great it is having you for a brother?" Theodore asked, for a confirmation.

"Aw Theodore, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" Alvin said, as he shook Theodore's hand, releasing the ten dollar bill. "Well, I'm off!" Alvin left the kitchen.

"Wow... easiest ten dollars I ever made..." Theodore said, just as Simon walked in. "Hey Simon? It sure is great having you for a brother!"

"Thank you Theodore, I like having you as a brother too," Simon said, "have you seen Alvin?"

"He just gave me ten dollars for saying have great it is to have him for a brother!"

"What? Never mind... he just paid me back the thirty five dollars he owes me."

"Maybe Alvin came into a large inheritance?" Theodore deduced.

"He certainly came into something..." Simon said, growing suspicious.

Moments later, Alvin was handing Brittany fifty dollars.

"What'd you do? Rob a bank?" Brittany asked.

"Would I do such a thing?" Alvin asked. "Don't answer that!" Just then, Alvin walked over to Eleanor. "Here's what I owe you after losing that bet at last Friday night's basketball game." Then, Alvin finally handed some money to Jeanette. "I'm sorry I said your new school picture made you look like a doofus, here's ten to forget the whole thing."

"Um... I'd be happy with just the sorry." Jeanette said.

"How come your suddenly paying us back, Alvin?" Eleanor asked.

"Eh, why put it off any longer?" Alvin asked.

"Well, all I can say is, it's about time!" Brittany said, as she took her scrunchie off of her ponytail, slipped it up to her thigh, and slipped the money into it, while her sisters watched in embarrassment.

"Well, I'm off," Alvin said, as he headed out the door, once again, "don't forget to bring all your banking needs to the Alvin Seville Savings and Loan."

Finally, later that evening, Alvin handed Dave three one dollar bill. "That should cover the household expenses."

"Alvin, the understanding was that the three dollars was coming out of your allowance," Dave said, leery of Alvin's intentions, "I hope you're not going to tell me you borrow this from one of your brothers to avoid losing even a small fraction of your allowance."

"Don't worry Dave, I didn't borrow anything from them!" Alvin said.

"Then, where did this come from?" Dave asked.

"From my allowance." Alvin lied.

Dave glanced at Alvin. "So, you think by going ahead and giving me three dollars from what you've already saved will make me change my mind about giving you a three dollar short allowance this month?"

"Uh... yeah..."

"Nice try Alvin," Dave said, giving Alvin the money back, "by I've made my decision, and I'm sticking with it, now run along."

Alvin shrugged. "Suit yourself." Alvin made his way upstairs to his bedroom, little knowing that his brothers were already in there, looking around for evidence as to where Alvin suddenly got all of this money from.

"Well, the only place we haven't looked is under his bed." Simon said, as Theodore looked underneath.

"Well... here's his old baseball mit... his secret journal... some cherry bombs... old monster model kits... a bunch of magazines full of pictures of girls with no clothes on... this box of money... an autographed picture of Jennifer Aniston...

"Box of money?" Simon asked.

Theodore looked inside the box again. "Wow... look at all of this money!"

"Hey!" Alvin shrieked, as he walked in the room. "Who said you could poke your nose in my personal, private, confidential property that nobody knows exists?"

"Where on earth did you get all of this money?!" Simon asked.

"Like I'm telling you!" Alvin snapped, as he shoved Simon of the way, as well as Theodore, to grab the box of money, and make sure they didn't take any.

"Seriously Alvin, where did you get all of that money?" Simon asked again.

"I found it!" Alvin admitted.

"Where?" Theodore asked.

"It was just sitting out on the front porch when I went outside!" Alvin said.

"Who would just leave a box of money on someone's doorstep?" Simon asked, not believing Alvin.

"Beats me," Alvin said, "all I know is, I found it, so I get to keep it after I spend it!"

"Alvin, you've got money that doesn't belong to you, the noble thing for you to do would be to hand it over to the proper authorities." Simon said, as he dropped the thirty five Alvin gave him back into the box.

"Yeah, right!" Alvin chortled. "A box full of money is every kid's dream!"

"Won't it trouble you knowing you're spending money that doesn't belong to you?" Simon asked.

"Nope." Alvin said.

"How would you feel if you lost the money and someone else found it and spent it?" Theodore asked.

"That's different." Alvin said.

"Does Dave know about this?" Simon asked.

"Dave doesn't know a lot of things." Alvin said, holding on to the box tightly, when Simon tried to grab it.

"We really should turn this in, Alvin." Simon said.

"No way!" Alvin yelled.

Once Dave heard a bunch of shouting coming from upstairs, he assumed his sons were fighting again. "What's going on up there boys?" Dave called from downstairs.

"Nothing!" The boys called back, as Dave came upstairs.

Dave opened his sons' bedroom door, and found them all sitting on their respective beds, without a care in the world. "What was with all the commotion?" Dave asked.

"Nothing." They lied.

Dave raised an eyebrow, as he watched his sons sit there, smiling innocently. Alvin hoped Dave didn't notice the drops of sweat that were forming on his forehead. With nothing more to say, Dave simply left the room, and shut the door, before Alvin pulled his pillow away from in front of the box.

"Alright, fine," Simon began, "you do what you want with the money, Alvin, if anything happens to you because of it, just make sure you don't get me or Theodore involved!"

"Now Simon, when have I ever gotten you or Theodore into trouble?" Alvin asked, idiotically.

"Is that a trick question?!" Simon asked.


	2. IllGotten Booty

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Two "Ill-Gotten Booty"

The following day at school, Alvin felt like a million dollars, in more ways than one. As he accidentally mentioned to Theodore, he was going to blow money on the new girl, Roberta. Roberta had shiny, dark brown hair, with rich, chocolate-colored eyes, and a simple black outfit. Something about her seemed rather mysterious, and Alvin liked it, and figured he should have a chance to personally denounce any rumors that may have surfaced about him being a bit of a swinger.

"Hello, Roberta." Alvin said, as he approached her at her locker, while fiddling with the bill of his beloved red cap.

"Oh... Alvin, hi..." Roberta responded, surprised to see him.

"And how does this day find you?" Alvin asked.

"Oh... pretty good." Roberta said.

"It's rough moving to a new school, isn't it?" Alvin asked. "Having to adjust to new teachers, new friends, a whole new environment..."

"Does it show that bad?" Roberta asked.

"Huh?"

Roberta sighed. "It always takes me forever to get used to a new things... I just... don't adapt well to change..."

"Why you don't tell me more about it over lunch?" Alvin asked.

"Um... well..." Roberta began.

"My treat!" Alvin said.

"Can you afford to pay for two lunches?"

"Are you kidding? I'm independantly wealthy!"

"Wow... I heard you came from a well off family..."

"Family has nothing to do with it, so what do you say?"

"Well... okay... I suppose..."

Later that afternoon, when the lunch bell rang, Alvin carried two trays of food towards the only table he could find where no other kids were already sitting. "Allow me..." Alvin pulled a hankerchief from his pocket, and wiped down Roberta's seat for her.

"Thanks..." Roberta said, intrigued by Alvin's gesture.

"So, tell me about yourself!" Alvin said, as he took his own seat.

"Why?" Roberta asked.

"I'd like to hear about you," Alvin told her, "I'd like to get to know you."

"Why?" Roberta asked.

"Why not?" Alvin asked.

"Well..." Roberta began.

"Alright, if you don't want to talk about yourself, you don't have to, fine with me..." Alvin said, really drawn to Roberta's mysteriousness.

"Ugh, Alvin's spending time with another fluzy?" Brittany asked, observing the two from another table.

"That's not a nice thing to say, Brittany." Jeanette said.

"Figuring every other girl in this grade, let alone this school has already rejected him, Alvin's only alternative is Roberta, considering she's new and everything." Simon said.

"Boy, Alvin must be desperate," Brittany continued, "she's not even pretty to begin with."

"Oh, she's beautiful." Jeanette argued.

"You don't have to be preppy and outlandish to be attractive, Brittany," Eleanor added, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

"These smiley faced fries taste terrible." Theodore said.

"They should be frowney faced fries then." Brittany remarked.

Back to Alvin and Roberta, Alvin was still trying to strike up a conversation with Roberta, but she was being so standoffish, Alvin was beginning to grow a little annoyed. "So, what's your favorite subject here?" Alvin asked her, running out of ideas to talk about that don't involve himself.

"Reading". Roberta said.

Alvin tried not to groan, reading was one of his least favorite subjects, as far as reading is concerned, he'd rather read something like an issue of Sports Illustrated, or the comic books he was still waiting for in the mail.

"You?" Roberta asked.

"Gym class!" Alvin said. "Matter of fact, I happen to be on the basketball team, we have another game Friday night if that's of any interest to you."

"Um, not really." Roberta said.

Alvin almost had it, Roberta was dull. Duller than dirt. "Well... um... you... you want to get together after school and hang out?" Alvin asked.

"Are you asking me out?" Roberta asked.

"Yes." Alvin said, before he realized it. "No."

"Um, look Alvin... you're quite the local celebrity here..." Roberta said.

"Well..." Alvin said with a smile.

"But... I um... I don't... really... go out..." Roberta said.

"I see..." Alvin said, frowning, "parents won't let you, huh?"

"Partly," Roberta said, "but it's more something else really."

"What?" Alvin asked.

"It doesn't really matter." Roberta said, anxiously waiting for the bell to ring again, dismissing everyone from lunch.

"But I'm such a nice guy!" Alvin said, assuming Roberta didn't like him, and wasn't saying so.

"It's not you, it's me." Roberta said, just as the bell rang. "Bye." Roberta grabbed her tray, and left the table, leaving a bummed Alvin to sulk over the food he hadn't even eaten, since he was too preoccupied trying to converse with her.

"Six dollars down the drain..." Alvin moaned, in reference to buying both his and her lunches. "Oh well, I'm good for it."

After school that day, Alvin was sitting on his bed, counting the money in the box once again.

"I don't see why you feel we should be surprised Roberta 'rejected' you." Simon mentioned.

"What woman wouldn't reject me?" Alvin asked. "Besides, it wouldn't have worked out anyway."

"Why?" Simon asked. "Because Dave told you to stop flirting with girls at school?"

"No, she was dull." Alvin said.

"Dull?" Theodore asked.

"Like talking to a brick wall," Alvin said, "I tried to act like I was interested in her, but she wouldn't talk about herself."

"Bringing back to mind the fact that you were reduced to an extra in the school play." Simon remarked.

"And she's not interested in nothing!" Alvin said.

"That's she's not interested in anything." Simon corrected his brother.

"All she likes to do is stay home and read!" Alvin said.

"What's wrong with that?" Theodore asked.

"Nobody reads anymore!" Alvin said.

"Only you." Simon said.

"Like I said..." Alvin said.

"You know Alvin, did it ever occur to you that not every girl has the same interests as you?" Simon asked.

"Good, it's still all here." Alvin said, as he closed the box, and slid it back underneath his bed.

"But you spent some of it already." Theodore said.

"I mean what's left is still all here!" Alvin said. "Now what were you babbling about, Simon?"

"Not every girl shares your interests, Alvin." Simon said.

"So?"

"So, you can't expect every girl to be interested in what you're interested in... as a matter of fact Alvin, it wouldn't hurt you to show some interest in another's interests as well."

"I would, if it didn't involve reading." Alvin said. "But, what's the point? She even agreed she wasn't my type."

"You said she said 'it's not you, it's me'," Simon pointed out, "that doesn't necessarily mean..."

"Oh Simon, you don't know beans about girls!" Alvin said.

"Maybe she already has a boyfriend." Simon said.

"I'd feel sorry for any guy that'd be her boyfriend." Alvin said.

"Either way, that's just a possibility." Simon said.

"I bet she's bald and has to take her wig off every night." Alvin said.

"That imagination of your's never sleeps, does it?" Simon asked, sarcastically.

"Not at all." Alvin boasted.

Elsewhere in town, the strange man who had dropped the box on the Sevilles' doorstep was trying to calm his nerves at a Starbucks shop, by drinking one coffee flavored shake after another. If he was an extremely paranoid person, he had right to be, because as it happens, two men were waiting in a tinted SUV in the back parking lot, both of them were wearing sunglasses, despite the fact that it was dark inside their vehicle, and it was cloudy outside. Moments later, an accomplice of their's met up with them, as the man in the passenger side rolled down his window.

"He in there?" He asked.

"Yeah," the accomplice said, "when do you want me to take care of him?"

"After he steps outside," the driver said, "make sure he doesn't have a change to get into his car."

"Right." The accomplice said, as he walked away.

The man inside the shop finally decided he had enough, and prepared to leave, but before he did, he looked around carefully to make sure nobody was looking in his direction. Seeing that he was clear, he made his way to the door, and focused his attention of his little car. Looking both ways, casually, as if he was checking for traffic, he made a break for it, only to discover someone had emerged from their hiding spot and took off after him. The cowardly man was inches away from his car, when he was tackled to the ground.

"You know the score," his attacker said, "just keep your mouth shut, or I kill you right here, right not!"

The man was promptly bound and gagged, and later shoved into the back of the waiting SUV, as it took off for parts unknown. All he did know, was that this was probably going to be the last day of his life. As for the money he abandoned, Alvin was already making out his own personal shopping list.

"Maybe now I can afford one of those limited edition regulation NBA Cavaliers basketball autosigned by LeBron James?" Alvin asked himself, as he was going over his list.

"Does the phrase 'money can't buy happiness' ring a bell, Alvin?" Simon asked.

"Oh, don't start that again!" Alvin moaned.

"You're just asking for trouble spending that money." Simon warned.

"No, I'm asking you to put a lid on your whines of me spending that money!" Alvin barked.

"Um, Alvin?" Theodore asked.

"Don't start with me, Theodore, I'm concentrating on my shopping list!" Alvin said. "I wonder how much a custom jet skateboard would fetch?"

"I was just going to ask if I could borrow twenty?" Theodore mentioned.

"Theodore, not you!" Simon said.

"Well, I have been wanting to take Eleanor to the movies for a long time now..." Theodore said, innocently.

"Maybe now you wish you didn't spend all of then money you were saving on that fondue maker, huh?" Alvin asked, with a smirk.

"Please Alvin?" Theodore asked. "Simon and I have loaned you money in the past, and you're so rich now and all..."

"Theodore..." Simon began.

"Oh, why not?" Alvin said, as he reached under his bed for the box. "Here's an extra five, in case either you or Eleanor want extra popcorn."

"Thanks, Alvin!" Theodore squealed, as he took the money from Alvin, and left the room.

"Oh shut up." Alvin said, before Simon even opened his mouth.

"You're taking me to the movies?" Eleanor asked, when Theodore came over.

"Sure!" Theodore said. "I even have a little extra for more popcorn!"

"Well, this is a nice surprise, Theodore!" Eleanor said, almost blushing at Theodore's gesture.

"So, you want to go?" Theodore asked.

"Of course," Eleanor said, let me just tell Miss Miller where I'll be..."

Shortly after that, Theodore and Eleanor were at the theater, where Theodore bought both of them each a large bucket of popcorn, and two large sodas with the money Alvin loaned. After the movie had ended, Eleanor thanked Theodore once more for the surprise.

"Thanks alot Theodore, this was a really great night!" Eleanor said.

"I had fun, too!" Theodore agreed.

"How did you come up with the money, though?" Eleanor asked, out of curiousity.

"Alvin loaned it to me." Theodore told her.

"That's funny, just yesterday he finally payed up for the bet he lost last week," Eleanor said, "he also gave Brittany fifty."

"Yeah, Alvin found this box full of money, he's rich!" Theodore said.

"Where did he find it?" Eleanor asked.

"He said he found it out on our front porch."

"And he's just doing with the money what pleases him?"

"I guess." Theodore shrugged.

"Theodore?" Eleanor began. "What if the money is stolen?"

"Idon't know... if someone stole money, why would they just leave it on someone else's front porch?"

"Beats me." Eleanor said.

While Brittany and Jeanette were waiting for Eleanor to return home, Brittany continued to complain about the new girl at school.

"What is your issue with her, Brittany?" Jeanette asked. "What has she ever done to you?"

"She weirds me out is what..." Brittany said, "she's in my math class, and she's always staring at me."

"Maybe you remind her of someone," Jeanette said, "we got along fine today."

"You?!" Brittany asked.

"Yeah, she's in my reading class, she's really nice, very friendly." Jeanette said.

"I heard Alvin said she was dull and standoffish." Brittany said.

"Well, Alvin's said the same about me before," Jeanette reminded Brittany, "I guess the booky type isn't for Alvin."

Within a matter of seconds, Eleanor came into the room. "You girls are never going to believe what Theodore told me..."

"You told Eleanor what?!" Alvin asked, nearly choking Theodore as he shook him.

"Settle down, Alvin!" Simon said, helping Theodore loose.

"Eleanor simply asked me where I suddenly got the money to take her to the movies, I told her I got it from you, she asked where you got it, so I told her about the box, and..."

"And now she's going to tell her sisters, and the next thing you know, they're going to be coming over here wanting to see the money, then they're going to constantly be asking me for handouts, and the next thing you know the money'll all be spent before I have a chance to spend any myself!" Alvin complained.

"You already bought yourself, and Roberta lunch today." Simon reminded Alvin.

"Besides that..." Alvin continued, "man Theodore, you really do have the world's biggest mouth!"

"I'm sorry," Theodore said, sadly, "I didn't know you didn't want me to tell anybody."

"Apparently Alvin assumed you'd automatically keep quiet about it." Simon said.

"Now what am I going to do?" Alvin asked. "I've got to keep this money in a safe spot where no one can find it!"

"You could always ask the police to look after it for you." Simon suggested.

"Nice try Simon, but I am not giving up this money!" Alvin said. "I've got to find someplace to keep it."

"What about the bank?" Theodore asked.

"What if the bank is robbed?!" Alvin asked.

Suddenly, it hit Simon. "That's it!"

"What's it?" Alvin asked.

"Someone must have stolen this money from a bank, and in order to get rid of the evidence, left the money on our doorstep, figuring whoever finds it would probably spend it." Simon deduced.

"Swell," Alvin said, "so in other words, if the cops find it, I'll get blamed."

"I told you spending this money could bring you trouble." Simon said.

"What are you going to do Alvin?" Theodore asked.

"Obviously, I have two options... either I can go ahead and spend all of this money now, so if the cops coming looking for it, I won't have..." Alvin began.

"Or...?" Simon asked.

"Well, there's more money here than I can even count," Alvin continued, "it'll take me forever to spend it, so I'd have to find some simple-minded sap to guard it for me!"

"Well, now I've heard everything," Simon said, "I'm going into my lab to finish on my projects".

Simon left the room, as Alvin dove under his bed, grabbed the box, and ran out as well.

"Where are you going, Alvin?" Theodore asked.

"To see a simple-minded sap about guarding my money!" 


	3. Hide and Creep

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Three "Hide and Creep"

Alvin ran downstairs with the box of money, and raced over to the front door, when Dave walked up to him.

"Where are you going, Alvin?" Dave asked.

Alvin shrieked, startled by Dave. "Uh... uh... nowhere..."

"Well, what's the in the box?" Dave asked.

"Nothing!" Alvin said.

"Then, what are you doing with it?" Dave asked again.

"Uh... I was... uh..." Alvin hesitated, as he tried to think of an excuse, "it's just uh... I was... I was taking it out front... yeah, I was cleaning out underneath my bed, there's nothing in here but a bunch of junk and garbage, I was just going to leave it out with the cans for the trash guys to pick up tomorrow."

"Wow, Alvin," Dave said, "you cleaning out underneath your bed without ever being asked? What year is this?"

"Dave? I'm... a little insulted..." Alvin began, "you were the one who once said 'why can't you be more tidy and organized like Simon or Theodore?'... I just want to show you I can be just as tidy and organized as any other brother in this house!"

"Well... I didn't mean to offend you, Alvin, and I'm sorry I hurt your feelings," Dave said, "I was just using them as an example..."

"All is forgiven." Alvin said.

"Well, go ahead with what you're doing Alvin, but be getting ready for bed when you're through." Dave said, as he walked into the living room.

"Don't worry about me, Dave," Alvin called out to him, "I've got it all under control!"

Out the door Alvin went, though ever since Eleanor mentioned what Theodore had told her about the money, her sisters were contemplating on how exactly Alvin got his hands on it, as just finding a box of money of the doorstep didn't seem like a believable explanation.

"I bet Alvin probably robbed a bank, and is using that story as a coverup!" Brittany said.

"All I know is Alvin's got a box full of more money than he knows what to do with." Eleanor said.

"But why would someone just drop a box of money on someone's doorstep?" Jeanette wondered. "You wouldn't just leave your driver's license or birth certificate with someone else."

"I wish I knew..." Eleanor said.

Out in the girls' backyard, Alvin was struggling to climb up the trellace outside their bedroom window, but once he made it up, he peered through, discretely, as he saw the chipettes in their room, conversing.

"Well, if Alvin's suddenly a filthy rich tycoon," Brittany, whipping her ponytail around, "then maybe he might need somebody other than Roberta to spend it on..."

"Oh, Brittany..." Eleanor moaned.

"Just thought..." Brittany said, plotting to ask Alvin out, so she can get her hands on some of his money as well.

Alvin watched in secret, waiting for the right moment to make his move, and when he finally saw Brittany and Eleanor leave the room, while Jeanette started to turn her bed back, he knew it was time. Gently, he tapped on the window. Jeanette looked up for a moment, then shook it off, as she placed her hands on her sweater, getting ready to change into her nightgown. Alvin was beginning to watch in interest, expecting to find Jeanette having a nice body under her clothes, but shook that off as well, and tapped on the window again, this time louder, and harder. This time, Jeanette knew she wasn't hearing things, but where was this mysterious tapping coming from? Again, Alvin tapped, and Jeanette finally realized it was coming from the window outside, so Jeanette raised the sunshade to see what the idea was. When she saw Alvin, she opened the window.

"Alvin?" She asked. "What are you doing out there?"

"Never mind that, we need to talk!" Alvin said, in a low tone.

"What about?" Jeanette asked, as she leaned over the window sill.

"Not here!" Alvin said. "Come out back!"

"Um... okay..." Jeanette said, as she shut the window, though the breeze that followed from the window being shut swayed the trellace, as Alvin lost his balance, and fell off.

Jeanette strolled downstairs, just as Eleanor left the kitchen with a glass of water.

"Where are you going, Jeanette?" Eleanor asked.

"Um..." Jeanette began, "I'm not sure..." Jeanette continued down the stairs, and out the door, while Eleanor dropped her eyebrows in confusion.

Shortly later, Jeanette walked around back, where she found Alvin, picking himself up, and massaging his sore rear end.

"What's going on Alvin?" Jeanette asked.

"Jeanette, I need you to do me a big favor!" Alvin pleaded.

"Well, sure," Jeanette offered, "what is it?"

Alvin looked around to make sure no one was listening to them. "I suppose Eleanor spilled the beans about what Theodore told her, huh?"

"You mean about the box of money you have?" Jeanette asked.

Alvin sighed. "Figures... well anyway, I can't let anything happen to the money, now that words out, I'm no longer safe!"

"You mean the authorities are looking for you?!" Jeanette asked, in dispair.

"No!" Alvin replied. "What I mean is, now that word's out, people are going to be coming to me, asking for all kinds of loans, and before I know, the money'll all be gone!"

"Well..." Jeanette began.

Alvin grabbed the box, and handed it to Jeanette. "I need you to guard this with your life for me!"

"What?" Jeanette asked, as she took the box. "Why me?"

"Because... because... because..." Alvin knew the real reason was because Jeanette is so easily manipulated into doing things for other people, but he tried to think up of an excuse. "Because the only one I trust."

"I am?" Jeanette asked.

"Yeah, you are." Alvin said. "Simon and Theodore would sell their souls to get their hands on this box, Brittany would spend it like a drunken sailor, Eleanor... I'm not sure what Eleanor would do... but you, I can trust!"

"I never knew..." Jeanette began.

"Look... if people ask, I won't have the money anymore, right?" Alvin asked.

"Yeah..."

"They won't know I gave the money to you..." Alvin continued.

"Well..." Jeanette began.

"And if you don't have it, nobody will know what happened to it, right?" Alvin asked.

"But I do have it..." Jeanette told him.

"But they don't know that," Alvin said, "and you're going to act like you don't have it."

"I don't know, Alvin..." Jeanette said, preparing to hand the box back him.

"Please?" Alvin asked, trying to look as innocent as possible.

Jeanette was torn. Not knowing where the money came from in the first place, deep down, Jeanette felt she would be getting into trouble if she hid the money. On the other hand, Jeanette didn't want to just turn a friend down for a favor, even if it made her feel uncomfortable. As Alvin said, in a way, it would be like she doesn't know anything about it, but she would know, and it would bother her.

"Please?" Alvin asked again, quietly.

Jeanette sighed. "Okay, Alvin..."

Alvin perked up. "Thanks, Jeanette, I knew I could count on you!"

"I'll find someplace to hide the money for you." Jeanette said.

"Make sure it's someplace I can have easy access to when I need it." Alvin instructed.

"I'll leave it in the cellar," Jeanette said, "that way, it'll look like just another box of junk down there, and you can get to it from the outdoor entrance.

"Great!" Alvin squealed, as he place his hand on Jeanette's shoulder. "Thanks alot!"

"You're welcome..." Jeanette mumbled.

Alvin took off for home, while Jeanette, reluctantly, opened the doors to the cellar, and walked down to strategically place the box close to the staircase, among different, assorted boxes, so it wouldn't stand out. Jeanette later walked around the house again, this time to head in, just as Eleanor came stepping out.

"I was coming to look for you," Eleanor said, "where did you go?"

"Oh... uh... I lost one of my library books that are due tomorrow," Jeanette lied, "I went to see if I might have left it outside."

"Oh, Jeanette..." Eleanor began, "you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to you neck."

Jeanette didn't respond.

"I say that with effection." Eleanor said.

"I know." Jeanette said, as she walked back into the house, elsewhere, Roberta was flipping through an old yearbook, looking for a picture of Alvin, until she happened to come across it.

"That's the guy I was talking about." She pointed out.

"He's the one who was trying to hit on you?" Her older brother, Derrick asked.

"Yeah, he bought me lunch today and everything." She told him.

"What did you tell him?" Derrick asked.

"Well... I just said that I don't really go out that much... he thought I was suggesting I didn't like him, so I gave him the 'it's not you, it's me' bit." Roberta explained.

"So, you didn't tell him..." Derrick began.

"No." Roberta said.

"You think you should..." Derrick tried to continue.

"No." Roberta said again.

"How do you think he'd react when he..." Derrick began.

"Oh, will you shut up?" Roberta snapped.

"Touchy, touchy..." Derrick said, as he jokingly patted Roberta's head.

"Typical." Roberta said, looking at his picture again. "Just another typical guy for you."

"Aw, come on..." Derrick said. "Who else were you wanting to show me?"

"Well..." Roberta started to flip through some more pages, meanwhile, back home, Alvin strolled back into his bedroom, as if nothing happened.

"Well, did you find your 'simple-minded sap' to guard your money for you?" Theodore asked.

"Do me a favor, Theodore, and keep your mouth shut about the money from here on in, got it?" Alvin asked.

"Sorry." Theodore said.

"It's a good thing none of you have said anything to Dave about it." Alvin mentioned.

"Why?" Theodore asked.

"Well duh, Theodore, if 'the man' knew I had a box full of money, he'd force me to turn it into the cops!" Alvin said.

"Dave is probably going to find out, eventually." Simon said, as he walked back into the room.

"Nah, I'm good with Dave, we've got an understanding." Alvin said.

"Oh my..." Simon remarked, as he pulled his pajamas out of the dresser.

"Besides, it's all taken care." Alvin said.

"What's all taken care of?" Simon asked.

"I got rid of the money," Alvin said, "right, Theodore?"

"I thought you said you didn't want me to say anything about..." Theodore began, when Alvin cleared his throught, "oh yeah, Alvin got rid of the money alright."

"You didn't!" Simon said.

"I did!" Alvin said.

"Who did you give the money to?!" Simon asked.

"Woah, woah, woah, there, Simon," Alvin tried to calm down his younger brother, "what makes you think I'd just up and give away a box full of money to some simple-minded sap?"

"Because you said it was one of your options to get rid of the money." Simon reminded Alvin.

"Well, that's not how I got rid of it." Alvin lied.

"Then exactly how did you get rid of it?" Simon pressed.

"I lost it." Alvin lied.

"You expect me to believe that?" Simon asked, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously Alvin, what did you do with the money? Who did you give it to?"

Alvin faked a yawn. "Boy, oh boy, am I tired... I can hardly keep my eyes open..."

"Alvin..." Simon groaned.

"I better get ready for bed..." Alvin said, with another fake yawn, as he walked out the room, stretching, and scratching his rear end.

If anything was to be said about the man who dropped the box of money on the doorstep in the first place, it could be that he was scared out of his wits, and was in a lot of pain. He was tied to a chair in the middle of an empty room, bloody and bruised by the men who abducted him. The two men who were waiting in the SUV for him were the ones who had been assaulting him, while their accomplice, who took him down in the first place, stood off to the side with a loaded pistol pointed at his head at all times.

"You know what we want, don't you?" One of the men asked.

"Come on now," their victim said, with tremble in his voice, and blood pouring out of his mouth, "let's all be civilized about this..."

"Ain't nothin' civilized about this business!" The other of the two men said.

"Now, you gonna talk to us, or we gonna beat the ever-lovin' stuffings outta you again?" The first of the two men asked.

"Look..." their victim began, "I'm kind of bad at snap decisions, especially when my life hangs in the balance, how about a third alternative?"

The poor man was punched in the mouth again, as one of the men pointed to the accomplice with the gun. "That's your third option... now you better start talkin', you know what this is all about!"

"About... the dough..." Their victim said, coughing up blood as he spoke.

"The stuff you sold us is no good, man," the other man barked, "it's no good at all!"

"And you knew it the whole time, didn't you?" The first man asked.

Their hostage said nothing, so he was met with another fist of brass knuckles up the jaw again.

"Didn't you?!" He asked again.

"It's the best I could do," he wailed, "it's all I could get ahold of for the same price! You know how much the real stuff is these days?! Like nearly twice as much! What am I supposed to do about that?!"

"Not our problem." One of the men responded.

"We don't won't the cheap stuff," the other barked, "we want the real stuff!"

"I tried, I can't get that stuff anymore!" Their hostage pleaded.

"That's why if you can't give it to us, we want our scratch back!" One man said.

"I don't have it..." the hostage said.

"You hear that?!" The other man said. "This son-of-a-bitch done spent all our dough!"

"Let him have it!" The first man said to the accomplice with the gun.

"No!" Their hostage screamed. "I didn't spend it, I didn't spend any of it!"

"So then, where the hell is it?" The first man asked.

The hostage hesistated. "I don't know..." he lied.

"He's lyin'!" The second man said.

"Go ahead!" The first man said, as the accomplice cocked his pistol.

"Wait, wait, wait!" The hostage begged.

A silence fell over the room, as the men moved in closer on him, including the accomplice, as he literally pressed his pistol up against his temple.

"I... I left it in front of someone's house..." The hostage admitted.

"Who's?" They asked him.

"Like I know?" The hostage said. "I didn't ring the doorbell and find who the schmuck was who lived there, I just dropped it and ran!"

"Trying to get rid of our moolah, huh?" The second man asked.

"In a word, yes." The hostage said.

"Man, how retarded do you think we really are?!" The first man barked.

"Oh, I never thought you guys were retarded, I swear!" The hostage said.

"Well, you obviously don't think we're very smart either, do you?" The second man asked.

All the hostage did was squint his eyes shut, waiting for the trigger to be pulled.

"If we ain't gettin' the good stuff," the first man began, "then we're gettin' our money back... and you better get it for us... because if you don't, we not only gonna have to kill you, but anyone else who's had their mits on the money..."

The hostage gulped, as the pistol was drawn away. "Uh... h-h-how long do I have?"

"You?" The first man asked. "We don't trust you... not after you tried to cheat us..."

"So... what are you going to do?" The hostage asked.

"You're gonna drive us to wherever the hell it is you get rid of the cash, and you better hope they give it back to us, otherwise, it's gonna be worst day ever for them and you!" The first man said, as he snapped his fingers, signalling the accomplice to untie him from the chair. Once he was untied, the first man tossed his the keys to their SUV. 


	4. Do the Right Thing

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Four "Do the Right Thing"

Jeanette had trouble sleeping that night, as her conscience was bothering her. So much in fact, she could almost sense the prescence of a little angel on one shoulder, and a little devil on the other.

"You're a very good friend," Jeanette's little angel assured her, "very noble, very honest, and very trustworthy."

"Oh, I'm gonna puke!" Jeanette's little devil remarked, as she stuck her finger into her mouth, and made gagging noises.

"But you know that sometimes you have to say no to your friends, especially if they ask you to do something that could you get, and him, into trouble." Jeanette's little angel reminded her.

"Ah, what do you know?" Jeanette's little devil butted in. "You heard the little red-capped twerp, all she has to do is pretend she knows nothing about it... if they see she don't have that box of money, and they know Alvin don't have it no more, nobody's gonna be the wiser."

"But Jeanette," Jeanette's little angel spoke up, "you don't know where the money came from in the first place, that money doesn't belong to you, and it doesn't belong to Alvin... it belongs to somebody, and surly they're looking for it..."

"Ha!" Jeanette's little devil scoffed. "If they were lookin' for it, they wouldn't have dropped it on Alvin's doorstep in the first place!"

"But that might not be the case..." Jeanette's little angel argued.

"Look angel-puss, your halo's on too tight, losen it up and look at the big picture!" Jeanette's little devil said.

"The big picture could hold nothing but trouble," Jeanette's little angel mentioned, "you'd be doing Alvin a big favor by turning the money in, he might be mad at first, but once he realizes you only did it to keep him out of trouble, it would strengthen your friendship."

"Would you listen to this basketcase?!" Jeanette's little devil grimmaced. "She doesn't need any friends, it's all about number one in this world!"

"What a selfish thing to think!" Jeanette's little angel said.

"She don't need to be bothered by no 'friends'," Jeanette's little devil contested, "she's in this for herself, with all that money, she can show everyone what she's made of!"

"She's made of a clean soul, and a pure heart!" Jeanette's little angel argued.

"Yeah, look where that's gotten her," Jeanette's little devil said, "with all this moolah, she could be the most powerful girl in school... better yet... the world!"

"It's not about power," Jeanette's little angel said, "it's about the difference between right and wrong!"

"Take it from me, four-eyes," Jeanette's little devil told herself, "don't let this little sandal-wearing saint try to confuse you with babbling nonsense, it's your money now, let all the other kids know you're no push-over anymore!"

"You're not a push-over, Jeanette," Jeanette's little angel assured her, "you're a good, kindhearted girl, having all that money isn't going to prove you're anything you're not."

"Don't listen to her, Jeanette," Jeanette's little devil demanded, "keep the money, use it to your advantage!"

"Give up the money, Jeanette," Jeanette's little angel suggested, "it will only bring you trouble and misery!"

"Keep it!" Jeanette's little devil commanded.

"Give it up!" Jeanette's little angel pleaded.

"Keep it!"

"Give it up!"

"Keep it!"

"Give it up!"

Jeanette snapped. "Will you two just shut up already?!"

Eleanor and Brittany were woken up by Jeanette's sudden outburst.

"Jeanette?" Eleanor asked. "Are you alright?"

"I didn't leave for a wake-up scream, Jeanette!" Brittany moaned.

"I'm sorry..." Jeanette said, in embarrassment.

"Were you having a bad dream, Jeanette?" Eleanor asked.

"No..." Jeanette moaned, as she leaned back on her pillow once more, "a bad reality..."

Jeanette rolled over, while her sisters shrugged it off, and did the same, all the while, Jeanette's little angel and devil were hovering out of the room.

"You beat everything, you know that?" Jeanette's little angel asked.

"Ah, put a boulder in that tomb of yours!" Jeanette's little devil remarked.

"Jeanette?" A soft voice echoed in Jeanette's mind, as she moaned. "Jeanette?" The voice asked again, Jeanette softly groaned, figuring it was her conscience again, until finally, she felt a hand shake her shoulder.

"Huh?" Jeanette woke up.

"You fell asleep." Roberta said.

"Oh..." Jeanette said, with a yawn, "sorry, I had trouble sleeping last night."

"Oh... maybe you should try an ambien before you go to bed?" Roberta asked.

"No..." Jeanette said, "Miss Miller doesn't want me to become dependant on a sleeping drug."

"Miss Miller?" Roberta asked.

"Oh, she's my mother." Jeanette said.

"Oh." Roberta said, a little confused. "Um, Jeanette? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Jeanette said.

"Is Brittany Miller your sister?" Roberta asked.

"Yeah," Jeanette said, "I believe she's in your math class?"

"Yeah, she is..." Roberta said, "is... is she... is she nice?"

"Well..." Jeanette began, "she is once you get to know her."

"Oh..." Roberta said.

"Don't mind her if she's being rude to you," Jeanette said, "she's just not very good at making new friends, just give her sometime."

"Okay..." Roberta said.

That was an awkward conversation, Jeanette thought.

"Are you alright?" Roberta asked.

"Yeah, I've just got alot on my mind right now..." Jeanette.

"Do you want to take about it?" Roberta asked.

"Oh, I'm just... I'm just having a little problem with a friend of mine..." Jeanette said.

"What kind of problem?" Roberta asked.

"Oh, nothing I can't handle, I'm sure." Jeanette said, finally coming to a decision.

Several miles away, the SUV bearing the two crooks, and their accomplice was being driven, very slowly by their hostage, who tried to lose their box of money.

"What the hell you drivin' so slow for, man?" The second crook asked.

"Well, by going eight miles an hour slower, we could save some gas..." their hostage said, as an excuse for buying time, being nervous about having to deal with whoever might have possible gotten their hands on their money.

"We just want the cash," the first man barked, "get us there so we can get out!"

"Um... okay..." the hostage said, as he began to speed up a little, but within a matter of seconds, heard sirens coming up from behind them.

"Are you serious?!" The first crook said, as he turned his head to see the flash of strobing blue and red through the back windshield.

"What now?!" Their hostage asked.

"Put the pedal to the metal, man!" The second crook yelled.

"Yeah, if we get busted, you're coming with us!" The first crook said.

Within a matter of seconds, the hostage drove like a maniac down the highway, to avoid being pulled over. Other drivers scrambled to get out of the way of the pursuit, as their speed kept increasing with every passing second.

"Get off at this exit!" The first crook demanded.

"Huh?" The hostage asked.

"We can lose them downtown, just do it!" The first crook yelled.

The hostage swerved across four lanes of highway, causing other motorists to come to a screetching hault, with some crashing into each other, as the SUV soared down the exit, with the police following close behind them.

"Okay, now head down this street over here," the first crook instructed, "we can lose the heat in the alleys..."

As instructed, the hostage raced down the street to the right, heading into a cluster of random, burned out buildings, and like a rat running through a maze, the hostage drove through one alley after another, throwing the police off, and after the SUV came to a hault in one alley, they listened for the siren to die down, which it finally did after a few tense minutes, as they all breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now what?" The hostage asked.

"What the hell do you think?" The first crook asked. "Keep driving to the location of our cash, and hope whoever found it parts with it willingly!"

The hostage sighed, as he drove off once more. Back in paradise, the bell rang, for lunch time, as usual, Jeanette sat with her sisters and the chipmunks, though Alvin went on a prowl for another girl to impress, going over his list again from the top.

"You guys don't mind if Roberta has lunch with us today, do you?" Jeanette asked.

"Oh, please!" Brittany said. "Not while I'm eating!"

"Brittany..." Eleanor said.

"There she is..." Jeanette said, as she waved for Roberta.

"That sure is a long line..." Roberta said, as she sat next to Jeanette.

"Sure was." Jeanette agreed. "Oh, these are my friends, Simon, Theodore, my little sister, Eleanor, and of course you know Brittany."

"Hi..." Roberta said, nervously, while all but Brittany greeted her.

Lunch carried on as normal, though Roberta was a little too shy to join in any of the conversations, except whenever Simon, Theodore, or Eleanor asked her a simple question like where she's from, and if she likes it here and what not. She wouldn't say where she was from, but she said she liked it here for the most part. All the while, the two crooks in the SUV were growing really restless.

"Man, what is taking so long?!" The first crook asked.

"Look, I'm sorry," their hostage said, "but we're way off coarse now, I dropped the money out in the suburbs."

"If we don't make it there before sundown man, you're dead!" The second crook said.

"Do you have to keep reminding me of that?" The hostage asked.

"Gotta make sure you don't forget!" The first crook pressed, as the hostage let out another sigh.

Three hours later, the bell rang, dismissing all of the students from school for the day. Jeanette pulled her bookbag out of her locker, with a very determined look on her face, when Roberta slowly walked over.

"Hey, Jeanette..." Roberta said.

"Oh, hi, Roberta." Jeanette responded, as she shut her locker.

"Um... where are you going?" Roberta asked.

"Straight home," Jeanette said, "why?"

"I was just... wondering..." Roberta hesitated, "if you wanted to... kinda... you know... hang out?"

"I'd like to," Jeanette said, "but I've got something important I need to do, and if I put it off any longer, it's going to keep bothering me more and more."

"Oh..." Roberta said. "Well, that's okay... um... maybe... some other time?"

"Sure." Jeanette said. "Bye." Jeanette headed for home, trailing a little ways behind the rest of her group, that is until Alvin stopped in his tracks, and turned around until Jeanette walked up beside him.

"How's my precious treasure?" Alvin asked, quietly, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Oh..." Jeanette began, "it's um... it's... just fine..."

"Keep up the good work," Alvin whispered, "I'll have to drop by later tonight to make a withdrawl, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I get it..." Jeanette said, nervously.

"Great, see ya!" Alvin ran off to catch up with the others, as Jeanette paused and sighed.

"I can't do it..." Jeanette said to herself, "Alvin will kill me... on the other hand, if I don't, my conscience will kill me..."

Jeanette walked even slower than before. Which would be worse, having Alvin be mad at her, but eventually get over it, or feeling guilty knowing she helped Alvin spend money that doesn't even belong to him? Jeanette knew she wanted to do the right thing, but she didn't want Alvin to be mad at her for 'betraying' him. Jeanette started feeling ill to her stomach, but she made up her mind, she was going to give the money to the police, even if it means losing Alvin's trust. No sooner did Jeanette start to catch up with the others, as they made it closer to their houses, when the dark SUV pulled into the street.

"Well, we're here." The hostage said, nervously.

"Which house you leave the money at?" The second crook asked.

"That one..." the hostage pointed out, as Alvin, Simon, and Theodore started into the walkway.

"Come on..." the first crook said, as he got out of the SUV, followed by his partner, and accomplice. The hostage attempted to stay put, but the crooks yanked him out his seat, and dragged him along, as they walked up to the chipmunks. "Hey, kids!"

The chipmunks turned around to face him, while the chipettes stopped on the sidewalk a little ways to see what was going on.

"You kids live here?" The first crook asked.

"Um, we're not supposed to talk to strangers..." Theodore said.

"We're just looking for somethin' is all." The second crook said.

"What could you possibly be looking for?" Simon asked.

"We could tell you that, but we'd have to kill you." The second crook added, before he was slapped upside the head.

"Nah..." the first crook said, "I think we can get through this without killing anybody."

"Hey, what's going on here?" Alvin asked.

The first crook knelt down, to make eye contact with the boys, while the girls walked closer to the fence in front of their house to see what was going on.

"Here's the deal," the first crook told the boys, "all we're looking for is a little cardboard box full of money that this idiot left on your porch..."

"Uh... hi?" The hostage said to the boys, before the first crook brought his fist back, and hit him in the crotch.

Simon glared at Alvin, while Theodore turned towards him as well.

"If you can give us that money," the crook began, "we won't hurt you... as a matter of fact, you'll never hear from us again... okay?"

Alvin gulped, loudly.

"Give them the money, Alvin." Simon said.

"Huh?" Alvin responded.

"Give them the money, Alvin!" Simon pressed.

"Well..." Alvin choked, "I'd... like to, I really would... but... I don't have it anymore..."

"What?!" All the men yelped, before the first crook grabbed Alvin by the collar of his shirt, and lifted him off the ground. "What do you mean, you don't have it anymore? What the hell did you do with it?!"

"Well..." Alvin began, all the while, Jeanette quietly snuck away, something that didn't go unoticed by the accomplice.

"Where do you think you're going?" The accomplice asked, drawing attention to the girls.

"Shit, we got witnesses!" The second crook said.

"Nobody move!" The first crook ordered, as the kids all froze. "Somebody has our money... who is it?"

Alvin bit his tounge to keep from spilling the beans, while Jeanette began to tremble, something that didn't go unoticed by the crooks, as Alvin was dropped, and they made their way over to Jeanette.

"You're trembling..." the first crook pointed out, "you got somethin' to hide?"

"Well..." Jeanette began.

"Alvin..." Simon whispered, "please tell me you didn't give the money to Jeanette!"

"Okay, I won't..." Alvin whispered back, as Simon groaned.

"Is... is the money your's?" Jeanette asked.

"You bet it is," the second crook said, "you have it?"

"Uh... yeah..." Jeanette said, as her heart sank, "um... I'll go get it..." Jeanette turned to leave.

"We're comin' with you." The first crook said, to make sure Jeanette didn't try to pull a fast one.

Shortly later, Jeanette went down into the cellar, only to find that the box was gone.

"Uh oh..." Jeanette said, quietly.

"'Uh oh'?" The first crook said. "What does 'uh oh' mean?"

"It's not here anymore..." Jeanette said, as she went through the other boxes around it to make sure she didn't misplace it.

"Then where the hell is it?!" The second crook asked.

"I don't know..." Jeanette said.

"That does it..." the first crook began, "grab 'em!"

The second crook raced up the wooden staircase, grabbed Brittany and Eleanor, the accomplice grabbed the boys, pointing his pistol to them, while the first crook grabbed Jeanette by the collar of her shirt.

"You got some serious explaining to do!" The first crook said, as Jeanette trembled.


	5. Grilled Chipmunk

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Five "Grilled Chipmunk"

Roberta's walk home from school was usually a long one, but she didn't care, it gave her some time to think to herself, as she walked. As she walked, she thought about her newfound friendship with Jeanette, as she didn't think she'd ever find anybody who loves to read as much as she does. On top of all that, Jeanette is such a great girl. Kind, friendly, smart. Cute. Roberta couldn't remember a time when making a new friend was so easy. She also still thought about how Alvin tried to flirt with her, much like several others boys have done in the past at other schools. It made her sick. Roberta made it home for the day, surprised to find her older brother, Derrick, waiting for you.

"What took you so long?" Derrick asked, jokingly.

"What are you doing here?" Roberta asked. "Don't you have to work today?"

"I gave myself the day off..." Derrick said, as he stretched out on the couch, "boy it has been wonderful not having Allan here this week..." Allan, of course, being Derrick's employer at the gas station Derrick works at, and leaving him in charge while he's on vacation.

"You lazy." Roberta said.

"I know," Derrick said, "but I like it that way. So how was school today?"

"You're not my mother." Roberta said.

"Just curious." Derrick said.

Roberta dropped her bookbag, and got up on the other end of the couch. "I think..." she began, "I think... I think Jeanette's the one..."

Derrick looked up. "Really?"

"Yeah," Roberta said, "she's really smart, and really friendly."

"Does she know about your little secret?" Derrick asked.

"Are you kidding?" Roberta asked. "There's a reason they're called 'secrets' you know."

Derrick shrugged. "Are you going to tell her?"

"I don't think I will." Roberta said, as Derrick shrugged it off, and headed into the kitchen. "I'm happy with being just friends... for right now..."

Dave was hard at work in his study, trying to write a new song for the boys, yet having a bit of a mental block. He decided to take a break, and wait for the boys to return home from school to see what they think about what their new song should be, so saying, he got up his piano, and headed for the den to read the paper, when the phone rang.

"Hello?" Dave answered.

"David," the other end said, "are your boys home yet?"

"No, I don't believe they are, why?" Dave asked.

"Because the girls aren't home yet, either," Miss Miller said, "something fishy is going on here..."

"Well, Miss Miller," Dave continued, "some days the kids take a little longer to get home, than others, I'm sure it's nothing to be overly concerned about..."

"It is when it involves nearly fifty thousand dollars!" Miss Miller said.

"Did you say... fifty thousand dollars...?" Dave asked.

"Just about," Miss Miller said, while she went through the money in the box she found, "I found it in a box on my basement."

"Oh my," Dave said, "fifty thousand dollars, that sure is a lot of money, how do you suppose it got in your basement?"

"I don't know," Miss Miller said, "but the only ones who spend any time in the basement are my girls."

"Now, Miss Miller, I'm sure the girls wouldn't..."

"I'm not accusing them of anything, David, but I have a feeling they know something about it... and I'm wondering if the boys might know anything about it too."

"I honestly don't know," Dave said, "if they did, I'm sure they would've said something to me by now..."

"Oh, I don't know what to think, David, I'd hate to think that one of my girls might have stolen this, or found it somewhere and decided not to give it back to whoever lost it."

"Now, aren't you jumping to conclusions a bit?"

"Like I said, David, only four people have access to the basement, myself, Brittany, Jeanette, and Eleanor. I came down to look for my old preserving jars, and stumble upon this box full of money I have no idea what it's doing down there... that only leaves the girls, so I'm waiting on them to come home, hoping I can get an explanation from them."

"Well, if it'll make you feel better, I'll talk to the boys when they get home, and see if they might know anything about it." Dave offered.

"Thank you, David," Miss Miller said, "I'll just wait on the girls then."

Miss Miller was in for a long wait, however, the kids were all held hostage in the back of the waiting SUV, along with the original hostage, the accomplice keeping his pistol pointed at them at all times. The second of the two crooks awaited in the passenger seat, when the first of the two got back into the vehicle.

"Well?" The second crook asked.

"Nothing!" The first crook said. "All I was able to find was some of this old jewelry..."

Miss Miller's old jewelry, the girls realized, after the crook decided to ransack the cellar, looking for where ever the money might be hiding, and swiping anything of value he can get his hands on as collateral.

"Wonder what happened to our money?!" The second crook asked.

"We'll find out..." the first crook said, in a sinister tone, as he started the vehicle, "we'll find out soon enough."

The SUV tore through the neighborhood, and began it's long, tiring journey from the suburbs, out to a remote location in the desert, where the crooks were using at their secret hiding spot. Under the cover of darkness, the kids, and the original hostage were led into a room that was to serve as a holding cell for them.

"We not through here!" The second of the crooks said to everybody.

"And you..." the first crook said, point out Jeanette, "you better be ready to answer some questions..."

Without anymore to say, the hostages were locked in the room.

"I knew I wasn't going to get away with this." The hostage sighed.

"Get away with what?" Alvin asked.

"Yes," Simon added, "what is going on here?"

"It's a long story, kids," the hostage said, "a painfully long story."

"Who are those two guys, anyway?" Eleanor asked.

The hostage sighed once again. "Just two of the most notorious drug dealers in all of California."

A hush fell over the room.

"You mean to say we've gotten involved in the ever-raging drug war?!" Simon asked.

"Afraid so." The hostage said.

"So that money..." Alvin began, "that money... was drug money?!"

"Yep, and they want it back." The hostage said.

"Back?" Simon asked.

"Well..." the hostage began, "I became a middle man for buying and selling of drugs... and, well, actual, brand name drugs are sky-rocketing in price these days, so the best I could do with the money they were offering was to get the cheaper, generics of them, hoping they wouldn't be able to tell the difference... boy, was I wrong."

"Why did you leave the money on our doorstep?" Simon asked.

"How much money was in the box?" Alvin asked.

"Who do I answer?" The hostage asked.

"It doesn't matter!" Simon barked.

"Well..." the hostage began, "when I heard they found out the drugs I sold them weren't the real thing... I paniced... I mean... I didn't know what they were going to do to me if they came for a refund... meanwhile... I didn't want to just hand the money back over to them... I figured if I got rid of the money, and acted like I didn't know what happened to it, I'd be in the clear..."

At that moment, the other kids glared at Alvin, now that they realize that's probably the reason why he gave the money to Jeanette to keep.

"Is that what you were thinking when you gave the money to Jeanette?" Simon asked.

"Well... kinda..." Alvin mumbled.

"What do you mean 'kinda'?!" Brittany snapped.

"Well," Alvin began, "since Theodore blabbed about me having the money, I didn't want anybody coming to me for loans and handouts... so I talked Jeanette into hiding the money for me, and had her act like she didn't know anything because I know she's stupid enough to do it!"

The others couldn't believe what Alvin just said.

"I... I thought you said it was because you trusted me..." Jeanette said.

"I said what I said to get you to do it for me!" Alvin admitted.

Jeanette felt a tear come to her eye. "I'm not stupid..."

Alvin grew uncomfortable with the other kids staring him down the way they did.

"You really did it now, Alvin." Brittany said.

"You've gotten us into deep trouble before," Simon said, "but now, we're probably in the worst trouble, ever!"

"And there's no telling what those guys will do if they don't get that money back!" The hostage said.

"How much money was it?" Theodore asked.

"Fifty thousand dollars, exactly." The hostage said.

"One hundred and one of which is already gone." Simon remarked, glaring at Alvin.

"Oh, you didn't..." the hostage said, looking at Alvin.

"Well..." Alvin began, "finder's keepers?"

Simon sighed. "What are we going to do now?"

Just then, the door swung open, as the crooks and their accomplice entered the room. The first crook reached down, grabbed Jeanette by the collar of her shirt, and lifted her off the ground.

"The time has come..." he said, as he started out of the room with her.

"Now, wait just a minute," Brittany said, jumping up, "listen, I don't care who you guys think you are, you can't just come in here threatening my sister like that!"

"Who's gonna stop us?" He asked.

"I am!" Brittany said, as she started to charge towards the villians, until the accomplice whipped out his pistol, and pointed it right between Brittany's eyes, causing her to stop dead in her tracks, helplessly.

"Who's gonna stop us?" The crook asked again, in a more amused tone.

Brittany stood there with her little fists clinched, gritting her teeth, while the crooks walked out of the room with Jeanette, locking the door behind them, while Brittany yelled through the keyhole.

"If you jerks didn't have that gun, I'd show you!" Brittany yelled, before swiftly turning towards Alvin. "Boy, if those guys hurt Jeanette..." Brittany inched ever closer to Alvin, fighting the urge to beat him up, "if those guys do anything to hurt my sister... you're gonna wish you were never born!"

Alvin gulped.

"Our only hope now is if that fifty thousand were to suddenly reappear," the hostage said, helplessly, "either that, or the real drugs they were looking to buy in the first place."

"I believe you just answered our own pradicament!" Alvin said, snapping his fingers.

"Uh oh," Simon moaned, "Alvin's got another idea..."

"Alvin, don't tell us you intend to reclaim the money you already spent, in addition to trying to find the rest of it to give to them!" Eleanor said.

"I'm not!" Alvin said, as the rest breathed sighs of relief. "We'll just get our hands on the drugs!"

"What?!" The others asked.

In the other room, Jeanette sweated uncontrolably, as she was being grilled about the money.

"You know," the first crook began, "my mother told me to never hit a woman... and to never hit a child..." without hesitation, the crook brought his fist upside Jeanette's jaw, "but I never listened to a damn thing my mother said, anyway!"

The other crook, and the accomplice chuckled, as Jeanette massaged her jaw, while tears rolled down her face.

"You know, you could make this easier on yourself, if you just told us where the money is." The second crook said.

"I'm telling you guys the truth," Jeanette cried, "Alvin asked me to guard the money for him, and asked me to put it in a spot where he could get at it... that's why I put it in our cellar..."

"I searched the whole cellar," the first crook reminded her, "and I didn't see that money anywhere... what did you do with it?!"

"I didn't do anything with it!" Jeanette pleaded.

"Then where the hell is it?!" The second crook asked.

"I don't know!" Jeanette cried.

"She lie." The second crook said.

"I'm not, I swear!" Jeanette cried. Her heart was racing a mile a minute, her underwear, as well as the armpits and neckline of her shirt were completely wet from sweating so much.

"You know, your story don't make too much sense." The first crook said.

"A box of loot don't just get up and walk away!" The second crook said.

"You're hiding something, aren't you?" The first crook asked.

"No!" Jeanette pleaded, as the crook grabbed the front of her shirt once more, lifting her out of the chair.

"I think you are..." the first crook said.

Jeanette began having an anxiety attack.

"Maybe she has a mental block." The second crook said, with a smirk.

"If she is, maybe we can help clear her mind..." the first crook suggested, also with a smirk.

The accomplice walked up, and shoved the barrel of his pistol up Jeanette's rectum.

"From the bottom up!" The first crook said, with a laugh, while the other two laughed as well, as Jeanette started kicking her feet in dispair. 


	6. Wheeling and Dealing

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Six "Wheeling and Dealing"

"Alvin, what you're talking about is suicide!" Simon pleaded.

"Yeah," Eleanor agreed, "you mean to tell us you think we should get the drugs those bad guys are asking for?"

"And for what?" Brittany asked. "So you can keep that freaking money all to yourself?!"

"This has nothing to do with the money," Alvin said, "this is about getting all of us out of here in one piece!"

"Which it'll never happen..." Theodore groaned, as he curled up in the fetal position.

"Never isn't in my vocabulary!" Alvin boasted.

"Boy, don't we know it..." Simon remarked.

"So what exactly is this plan of your's?" The original hostage asked.

"Well, first things first," Alvin said, pointing out the door, "we need to get out of this room..."

"In case you haven't noticed, Alvin, the door's locked, and there's no windows..." Brittany growled.

"Leave that to me..." Alvin said, as he walked towards the back of the room, lined himself up with the area of the door, and with all the strength he could muster, ran towards the door, attempting to knock it down.

A vintage car drove recklessly through out the quiet suburbs back home, all the while the driver kept calling out the names of his sons.

"Alvin! Simon! Theodore!" Dave yelled, as he drove through all the side roads, and streets in his neighborhood, looking for his boys, who never returned home from school.

Miss Miller was also driving around the neighborhood, even more recklessly than usual, calling out for her girls.

"Brittany! Jeanette! Eleanor! Where are you girls?!' Miss Miller called out.

Coincidentally, both Dave and Miss Miller had returned to their houses around the same time, to which, Miss Miller promptly ran over to Dave.

"David, have you seen..." Miss Miller began.

"The girls? No." Dave said, before Miss Miller asked him. "The boys seem to be missing as well.

"Where in the world could those youngens be?!" Miss Miller asked.

"I haven't the fainted idea..." Dave said, "have you tried calling around to see if anyone has seen them?"

"No," Miss Miller said, sadly, "I did manage to drive over to the mall, I didn't see Brittany... Jeanette wasn't at the library, and I didn't see Eleanor at the frozen yogurt shoppe."

"I didn't think to look for Alvin at the basketball courts," Dave said, "I'm sure Simon is aware the new science museum isn't open just yet, and I wouldn't think Theodore would be spending anytime at the bakery, or the candy store, now that he has that fondue maker. I think we'll have to call the authorities."

"I think you're right," Miss Miller agreed, "those kids have to be around here somewhere, and we need help finding them."

"Where ever they are," Dave said, "I sure hope they're alright..."

Again, and again, Alvin ran into the door of the room he, his brothers, the chipettes, and the middle man of a drug dealing ring were being held prisoner.

"Alvin," Eleanor spoke up, "this is obviously not working!"

"No wait," Alvin said, picking himself up, "I can feel it now, the door's getting weaker by the minute..."

Again, Alvin rammed himself into the door, but fell back from not being able to break it down.

"Okay... this time for sure... I've just got to use my head..." Alvin backed up, lowered his head, and ran for the door, attempting to butt it down. When that didn't work, Alvin, in a daze, took to the ground. "I think I'll take a little nap now..."

"Okay, time to use some serious brain power around here!" Brittany said, as she walked up to the door. "Give me a hair pin, Eleanor!"

"I don't have one." Eleanor said.

"Why not?" Brittany asked.

"I have my hair tied off in pigtails, remember?" Eleanor asked. "What about you?!"

"I doubt my scrunchie would help us here." Brittany said.

"I could eat through the door..." Theodore suggested.

"Save your appetite, Theodore," Simon said.

"You got any bright ideas, Simon?" Brittany asked. "You're the smart one."

"If only we had something sharp to cut around the door knob," Simon suggested, "we might be able to get out that way."

"Say... wait a minute..." the hostage said, as he started digging through the pockets of his flannel shirt, then in his jeans, "I think... yeah, I got this pocket knife..."

"It's a little small," Simon said, "but with effort, it just might work."

As if that wasn't the only knife in the whole building, another knife was just inches away from Jeanette's fingers, as her hand was held down on a little table in what the two crooks, and their accomplice were using as an interogation room.

"Eeny, meenie, miney, moe..." the first crook said, playfully, as he tried to decide which finger to start with.

Jeanette felt like she was going to have a heart attack. She wished these men would believe what she's trying to tell them regarding their missing drug money, but as far as their concerned, they feel she's making up excuses, and playing ignorant with them on the matter. Before she realized it, she felt the cold sting of the blade resting at the base of her pinky finger.

"I do believe this is the one that goes 'wee, wee, wee, all the way home', huh?" The crook asked.

"Wait a minute..." Jeanette pleaded, "is there anything else?"

"I haven't gotten to the ones who went to the market, and had roast beef yet!" The crook said, as he began to press the knife down Jeanette's finger.

"No!" Jeanette screamed. "I mean... is there anything else I... can... possibly do?"

The crooks were confused.

"What do you mean?" The second crook asked.

"To make it up to you guys?" Jeanette asked.

The men were still confused.

"You mean, like, to work off your little 'debt'?" The first crook asked, as he slightly eased off his knife.

"... Yeah..." Jeanette said, softly.

There was a pause in the room, as Jeanette anxiously awaited their response.

"Hold that thought..." the first crook said, as he, and his partner, went off into the corner to discuss the matter, while their accomplice still kept his tight grip on Jeanette's arm, pinning it to the table.

"What do you think?" The first crook asked, in a whisper.

"About what?" The second crook asked. "How the hell is some little pipsqueak gonna work off fifty grand?"

In the other room, the hostage worked feverish, as he carved around the door knob.

"How's it coming?" Eleanor asked.

"Slowly, but surely..." the hostage said, as he manage to already saw one-fourth of the way around the knob.

"Please hurry," Brittany pleaded, "they've had Jeanette for a long time now... boy if they hurt her, I'm gonna hurt Alvin for getting her into this mess!"

"Must you keep reminding me?!" Alvin asked.

"I can't believe you said what you did!" Eleanor barked.

"About what?!" Alvin asked.

"About saying Jeanette was stupid enough to be suckered into guarding the money for you, and not telling anybody about it!" Brittany snapped.

"I didn't mean it like..." Alvin began.

"Yes you did!" The others, including the hostage interrupted.

Alvin sighed. He knew he shouldn't have said what he did about Jeanette, no matter how true it is. To him, at least. Admittedly, both Brittany and Eleanor were surprised Jeanette agreed to hide that much, unknown money, for Alvin, irregardless of his intentions. While the hostage continued to carve around the door knob with his little pocket knife, Jeanette continued to wait, anxiously, on the crooks' decision to make up losing the money to them. The wait seemed to take forever, but after a while, both the men nodded, then turned their attention to Jeanette again.

"Alright, girly," the first crook said, "we'll let you work off your debt."

With that said, the accomplice released Jeanette's arm, as she rubbed her wrist.

"Great..." Jeanette said, with false enthusiam, though relieved that at the thought that she just saved her own life. "Um... what... what exactly am I going to do?"

The hostage was now halfway around the door knob with his pocket knife, while each of the kids were pestering him to hurry up his progress.

"Come on, hurry!" Brittany whined.

"We're losing time!" Eleanor added.

"We need to get out of here!" Theodore said.

"Alright, alright, I get the point!" The hostage said. "I can't work with this, and argue with you kids at the same time, so just chill!"

"Sorry..." all the kids said.

The hostage shook his head in frustration, and continued to saw around the door knob, not realizing the door, by this point, had been unlocked, and was now open. Slowly, the hostage looked up, and saw the two crooks, staring him down, each with one eyebrow up.

"Uh... this isn't what it looks like..." the hostage lied.

The second crook grabbed the knife away from the hostage, and pocketted it.

"Alright, you all are free to go..." the first crook said, "we're through with you."

"You haven't even heard our new proposition first!" Alvin said.

"New proposition?" The second crook asked.

"What are you talking about?" The first crook asked. "We don't need no deal from you guys."

"Just listen..." Alvin began, "now look, we know you're money has disappeared, without a trace, and it would be near impossible to retrieve that much for you again, without resorting to robbing a bank..."

"Now there's an idea..." the second crook pondered.

"So, how would you like us to get the drugs you asked for?" Alvin asked.

"You?!" The first crook asked.

"Get the dope for us?" The second crook asked, before he and his partner exchanged a look of amusement, before bursting into loud, guffaws of laughter.

"I don't believe they're buying into your new deal, Alvin." Simon said.

"You damn serious we don't!" The second crook continued to laugh.

"Thank you, Dr. Obvious." Alvin moaned. "Come on, boys, what do you say?"

"Are you really serious?!" The first crook asked Alvin.

"Sure!" Alvin said. "If we got you your drugs, in a way, your wouldn't have any losses, as a matter of fact, you'd gain your... your... well whatever it is, you'll gain it."

The crooks smirked.

"Alright, shorty..." the first crook said, "you want to get the drugs for us, we'll make up a little 'shopping list' for you."

"Take your time," Alvin said, "we'll wait right here."

The crooks left the room, and compile a list of drugs they attempted to obtain with the money they gave to who would eventually become their hostage.

"Alvin, are you out of your mind?!" Simon asked.

"How are we going to buy fifty thousand dollars worth of drugs?" Theodore asked.

"We're not," Alvin said, "we'll just have to swipe them ourselves."

"We'd have a much better chance at robbing the fifty thousand from a bank." Simon groaned.

"I agree, Alvin," the hostage said, "it's not going to be easy to try to swipe these kinds of drugs from another dealer!"

"Who said anything about going to another dealer?" Alvin asked. "I'm talking about casing a pharmacy."

"You seriously think some pharmacist is going to just hand over a bunch of drugs to a group of kids who are getting them for drug dealers?" Eleanor asked.

"Don't you guys realize what time it is?" Alvin asked, pointing at his watch. "All the pharmacies will be closed, all we have to do is sneak in, grab whatever it is that's on these guys' list, give it to them, and we're all scot free!"

"And I'm going into early retirement." The hostage said.

"Alright, kiddo..." the first crook said, as he walked back into the room, with a relatively long list of specific, brand name drugs that they were intending to buy, "here's all the stuff we're looking for."

"Great." Alvin said, as he looked over the list.

"You have twenty four hours to get us this stuff." He told them.

"No problem, we can do this!" Alvin said, over confident, as the other kids all slumped over, knowing that Alvin was practically digging their graves for them.

"Alright, then hop to it!" The crook demanded, as he led them out of their room.

"What about my sister?!" Brittany demanded to know, as they all exited the room.

"Don't worry about her," the crook told her, "we're going to keep her here, just in case you all don't come back."

"How's that?" Simon asked.

"She offered to pay off her debt for us," he told them, "that's why if you all try to bail on us... we still don't suffer any losses."

By this time, Alvin was met with even more evil glances, not only are they having to resort to breaking into a drug store to steal the drugs the crooks are asking for, now they having to do it to resort to bail out Jeanette for paying off a debt that shouldn't even have to pay off.

"Run along now, you're wasting time!" The crook said, as he marched his new delivery service out of the building.

On the way out, Brittany glanced over in the other room, while the door was open, seeing Jeanette, cowering in the corner of the room. Head on her knees. Crying. The crew marched out of the building, and into the night.

"I'm telling you, Alvin," Brittany said, through her teeth, "you are swimming in dangerous waters!"

"We're not going to let Jeanette take the fall for your mistake!" Eleanor barked.

"I have to agree, Alvin," Theodore said, hesitantly, "if anyone should have to work off the money for those guys, it should be you since you found the money in the first place."

"I get the point, already..." Alvin moaned, "come on, let's get this over with... where's the nearest pharmacy around here?"

"There's one ten miles down the ridge here..." the hostage pointed out.

"Then we better get started... lead the way!" Alvin said, as the group pressed on down the hill.

"You really think those retarded little kids and that fool are gonna be back here tomorrow with the stuff?" The accomplice asked.

"It won't matter now," the first crook said, "if they ever make it back, she'll be gone anyway..."

The crook walked back into the room where Jeanette was waiting, took her by the arm, and led her down the hall.

"Come on..." he said.

"Please..." Jeanette sniffled, "isn't there any other way I can work off my debt?"

Without answering, Jeanette was taken into another room, and the door was locked behind them. 


	7. Munks on a Mission

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Seven "Munks on a Mission"

On a dirt trail down a ridge out in the desert were six figures, five of them were chipmunks, the other was a man, all of them with one motive. To get the amount of drugs on a list given to them, in order to please two notorious dealers in the drug war that has plagued the continent.

"Funny thing about some of these drugs," Alvin said, as he was looking over the list, "I can't even pronounce some of the names..."

"There's nothing funny about this situation, Alvin!" Simon snapped.

"Oh, will you guys relax, already?" Alvin asked. "We get the drugs to these guys, and we're all free."

"This is just going to get us in even deeper trouble, Alvin..." Simon said.

"Quit worrying so much, Simon," Alvin said, "we just need to make sure we don't waste anytime."

The police, on the other hand, were already at Miss Miller's residence, where the elderly lady relayed the disappearance of her daughters, and their next door neighbor's son.

"Have the kids ever been in a situation where they've been on their own?" One officer asked.

"Well..." Miss Miller began, "there was this one time where they accepted an offer to race around the world in hot air balloons..."

"You're kidding..." another officer said, not believing the story.

"I'm not, either!" Miss Miller snapped. "As a matter of fact, they ended up discovering, and busting up an international diamond smuggling ring!"

"That's pretty impressive..." the first officer said, "have they done anything else like this before?"

"Gosh, I hate to admit it, but I usually can't ever keep up with all of their antics," Miss Miller admitted, "but the hot air balloon race is one thing I'll never forget!"

"Can you think of any reason why the kids might possibly run away from home?" The second officer asked.

"Not a one." Miss Miller said.

"Well, then, we'll state combing our jurisdiction," the first officer said, "see if we can't find any of these kids... we'll call you if we get any leads."

"Thank you." Miss Miller said.

"Is there anything else we can help you with?" The second officer asked.

"Well..." Miss Miller began, as she stepped into the hallway, and grabbed the box, "I found this in my basement earlier this afternoon..."

The first officer took the box away from Miss Miller, and peered inside. "Holy moly, how much money is in here?"

"Well, I'm not exactly sure," Miss Miller admitted, "but it seems to be just barely fifty thousand dollars."

"You don't know where it came from?" The second officer asked.

"No... but... I have a feeling my girls do..." Miss Miller said.

"You believe they stole it?" The first officer asked.

"Now, I didn't say that." Miss Miller said, in defense of her daughters. "But they have to know something about it, they're the only ones who are ever down in the basement more than I am, and I know I didn't see it when I was down in there last time."

"Well, this is puzzling," the second officer said, "we haven't had any reports of missing money from any of the banks in town, have we?"

"Not that I can remember..." the first officer said, "how many people have tampered with this box?"

"What do you mean?" Miss Miller asked.

"We could lift finger prints off of this, find out who exactly has had their hands on it..." the first officer explained, "but if several people have handled it, it could make it rather difficult... in the meantime, we'll just hold onto this, it might come in handy as evidence..."

"For what?" The second office asked.

"I'm not sure, but whatever the case, we better hold onto it." With that, the police bid Miss Miller farewell, and prepared to leave her house.

"Are you going to find the kids?" She asked.

"Ma'am," the first officer began, "we're going to do more than that."

"How are we going to do more than that?" The second officer asked.

"Huh?" The first officer asked.

"What are we going to do, find them twice?" The second officer asked.

With nothing else to say, the police left the house, leaving Miss Miller frantic, and worried. Miss Miller walked over to Dave's house, and knocked on his door.

"Miss Miller?" Dave asked. "Have you talked to the police?"

"Yes I have," Miss Miller said, "all we can do now is wait, I suppose."

"Where in the world could those kids be?" Dave asked.

"I don't know... I know one place I'd like for them to be though, I'd like to be able to walk down the hallway, open the door, and find the girls all sleeping peacefully in their beds." Miss Miller.

"It'd be nice to be able to see that the boys got in bed on time tonight, as well." Dave agreed, as he and Miss Miller watched the police drive away.

"Where ever they find them," Miss Miller said, "I hope they're not hurt."

Back at the crooks' hang out, a pimped-out, golden cadillac, with humongos wheels drove up to the side door, where the kids had left an hour ago. The driver of the cadillac stepped out, and approached the door, to which he knocked three times, paused, then knocked three more times. After a few seconds, the second of the two crooks opened the door, holding on to a tear streaked Jeanette.

"Well?" The crook asked.

"Well," the driver said, "not exactly what I had in mind, but we can work with her."

"Fine." The crook said.

"You wanted fifty grand for her, right?" The driver asked.

"Exactly." The crook said, as he was handed a plain, brown envelope.

"Pleasure doin' business with you guys again." The driver said.

The exchange was made, the crook took the brown envelope, which contained fifty thousand dollars, while the driver of the cadillac took Jeanette. Jeanette reluctantly got into the passenger seat, while the driver returned to his respective seat, and drove off for parts unknown. The crook stepped back into the building with the envelope, and caught up with his partner.

"Here it is," the second crook said, as he handed his partner the envelope, "our losses, repayed."

"Great." The first crook said, as he took the envelope, and looked inside. "Now it doesn't even matter if those little twerps and that bastard return or not."

"So, what's next on the agenda?" The second crook asked.

"First things first," the first crook began, as he lit up a joint, "we gotta find a us new middle man."

"Yeah, only this time, we do a complete background check on 'im." The second crook said.

"Make sure has a solid rep." The first crook said, as he blew out smoke.

The night grew on, as the six still trekked down the ridge, into the small town down below.

"How far have we gone?" Brittany asked, growing tired, and wanting to take a break.

"By my calculations," Simon began, we've travelled just a little over three miles down this ridge."

"That means we have less than seven more to go." The hostage said, also growing a little weery.

"At this rate, we'll never get down to any pharmacy in time," Simon said, "the sun will rise before we get there, the pharmacy will be open, people will see us, we won't get away with it."

"What we need is to gain a little speed," Alvin said, "something that'll get us there with time to spare... something that'll save alot of walking... something like that..."

Alvin spotted an abandoned four wheeler off to the side in the brushes.

"How convenient..." Brittany said.

Moments later, the hostage was in the seat of the four wheeler, holding onto the handle bars, while the others held on tightly.

"You're right Alvin," Simon said, "this is giving us a little speed!"

"This will give us time to spare!" Brittany said.

"And it sure does save alot of walking..." Eleanor said.

"Well, I sure am glad you guys are having a good time..." Alvin moaned, as he pushed the gasless four wheeler down the ridge, running as he did.

Down the hill they went, much faster than they were originally going, in spite of the fact that Alvin struggled to push them all the way. He was thankful that at least he was pushing down hill, pushing them up hill is going to be much more difficult. Within a matter of minutes, it looked as if light was slowly shining on the road beside them.

"The sun can't be coming up already..." Simon said, looking at his watch.

A blarring horn, and muffled hip hop music suddenly killed the silence, as the golden cadillac raced passed them down the ridge.

"What's his hurry?" Alvin asked, still pushing everyone down hill.

"If he were going slower, maybe we would've had the chance to hitch a ride into town." The hostage said.

The four wheeler began slowing down.

"Mind your pace, Alvin!" Brittany demanded. "Chop-chop!"

"Look, I'm getting tired..." Alvin moaned, "why can't someone else do the pushing for a change?"

"Not a chance!" The others said.

"You're the one who got us into this mess, Alvin," Eleanor reminded him, "you might as well do all you can to help us out."

"Well, can I at least take a five minute break?" Alvin asked.

"Make it two," Simon said, "we have to stick to the time limit."

Alvin pushed the four wheeler a few more feet, before he stopped, falling to the ground, and panting for air. Unfortunately, the four wheeler ended up resting at the top of a steeper part of the ridge. One sudden shift in weight, and the four wheeler would take off again, on its own, down the steep drop off.

"Boy, I can't wait to get this over with, so we can all go home..." Theodore said, as he began stretching.

"You said it." Brittany said, as she leaned forward to see how much further they had to go.

At that moment, the four wheeler slowly inched forward, then suddenly started picking up a bit of speed.

"Take it easy, Alvin," Simon said, "this is a bumpy path."

No answer.

"Alvin?" Simon asked again.

Still, no answer. Simon turned around. "Alvin?"

Simon saw Alvin behind them, on the ground, still exhausted from all the running, and pushing he did.

"We're moving on our own!" Simon said.

"We're out of control!" Brittany shrieked, as she began freaking out.

"Alllllllllllvinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!" Everyone cried, as Alvin shot up.

"Huh?! What?!" Alvin said, as he looked around, seeing he was now all alone. "Hey, where'd everybody go?!"

Alvin heard the faint calling yet again, further down the path.

"Hey, wait for me!" Alvin called out, as he chased the rest, on foot.

Down the ridge they went, picking up more speed as they went, as the ridge became steeper, and steeper.

"Somebody do something!" Brittany shrieked.

"How do you stop this thing?!" The hostage asked, as he pulled back on the handle bars, and stomped on the running boards, looking for a break pedal.

Down they went, still, bouncing along the way, as the path became rockier. At that moment, they saw half the path in front of them was blocked off by a fallen tree trunk, and as fate would have it, they were heading straight for it.

"Turn! Turn!" Simon shrieked.

It was a little too late, the rammed into the tree trunk, which sent the kids flying through the air, and landing on the path in front, as the hostage jumped off the four wheeler, and ran over to them.

"Are you kids alright?!" He asked them.

"I got dirt in my hair!" Brittany shrieked.

"I think we're alright..." Simon groaned.

"Sorry about that..." the hostage said, while the kids picked themselves up, and dusted themselves off.

At that moment, Alvin came running up to the rest of the group.

"What's the big idea?" Alvin asked. "Trying to just dump me in the middle of nowhere?"

"Oh, Alvin..." Simon groaned.

"Hey, check it out," the hostage pointed out the street lights a few yards further down the path, "we're almost there."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Alvin asked.

Onward they continued, on foot, until finally, they made it to the foot of the ridge, and saw a very small, rural town.

"What is this," Brittany asked, "Lower Slovovia?"

"There's the pharmacy, across the street." The hostage pointed off to the side.

"Let's get shoppin'!" Alvin said, as he led the way, across the street.

"Wait a minute, Alvin," Simon began, "suppose there's cameras inside? We could be caught lifting these drugs, and could have charges pressed against us!"

"Well, Simon," Alvin responded, "you're the smart one, I'd figure you'd know a way to disconnect the cameras while we're in there!"

Simon sighed. "Why do I feel like I'm going to hate myself in the morning?" 


	8. Gimme Lots of Drugs

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Eight "Gimme Lots of Drugs"

The night grew on, and under the cover of darkness, a lone, bespecticaled chipmunk moaned, softly, as he found himself casing a pharmacy in a small, rural town in the middle of nowhere. Once around back, Simon used the quill from a cactus to pick the lock of the back employees' entrance, silently hoping that it wouldn't trip an alarm. Simon, finally managed to get the door open, and was relieved to hear absolutely nothing afterwards. He quietly stepped inside, and searched for a fuse box, until he found it, just before the pharmacists' office. He opened the hatch, and observed the different numbered switches, unsure of which one the cameras were hooked up to. At that time, Alvin also slipped into the building, and into the office, where he saw the monitors, ready to let Simon know when they've been disconnected. One, by one, Simon flipped the switches in the fuse box, waiting for Alvin to say something, until the sixth switch Simon flipped knocked out the monitors.

"That did it!" Alvin said into the hallway, as Simon closed the fuse box.

"I don't know about this, Alvin..." Simon groaned.

"Don't worry about a thing, Simon," Alvin said, "everything's going smoothly, so far."

Alvin stepped back outside, and signalled for the others to come in.

"Are all the cameras out?" Eleanor asked.

"Out like a light!" Alvin said. "Speaking of which..."

Alvin flipped on the lights inside the store front.

"Are you crazy?!" Simon asked, as he turned the lights back off.

"Hey, what'd you do that for?" Alvin asked.

"The windows are open!" Simon said. "Unless we want some passer-by to catch us in the act, we need to cover the windows!"

"Simon," Alvin said, placing his hand on Simon's shoulder, "you're finally coming around!"

Alvin went to look for anything he could to cover the windows while they work, meanwhile, Simon's sickening feeling in his gut just got sicker. Alvin grabbed a stack of hospital blankets, and nailed them over the windows.

"That should do it!" Alvin said, as he turned the lights on again.

"Let's just get this over with..." Brittany barked, "we wanna make it out of here before the place opens, and get back to those jerks' hide out as soon as possible... I'd hate to think what Jeanette must be going through right now... all alone... without protection... waiting for us to return..."

"Well, what are we doing wasting our time talking about it for?" Eleanor asked. "Let's get to work."

The chipmunks, remaining chipettes, and the dealers' former middle man went to work gathering the various prescription drugs that was written on a 'shopping list' for them.

"Hey, check it..." Alvin said, as he observed a plastic bottle of pills, "ecstacy!"

"Can't go a minute without having your mind in the gutter, huh Alvin?" Brittany asked.

Alvin shrugged it off, and dropped the bottle into the plastic shopping basket he was carrying.

"Hey, this one's an anti-depressant drug..." Alvin said, as he looked at the bottle.

"Do you have to stand there like an idiot and awe over each drug we have to steal?!" Brittany asked, annoyed.

"Ooh, better save these for you!" Alvin said, jokingly.

"Alvin," Eleanor began, "this isn't the time, nor place to crack wise..."

"I wonder what the actual, scientific name for crack is...?" Alvin wondered.

"Oh, please..." both Brittany, and Eleanor, said at the same time.

"Hey, it could be worse," Alvin said, "we could be a part of some remote animal testing facility, having this stuff crammed down our throats day in, and day out..."

"Alvin..." Brittany, and Eleanor went again.

"On the other hand," Alvin stated, "we'd be getting paid to get stoned..."

"Alvin!" Brittany, and Eleanor yelled.

"Careful, or I'll have to swipe some of these aspirins for headaches!" Alvin joked.

The entire building was filled with the sounds of moans, and groans at Alvin's childish behavior. Simon placed his hand on his head, let out a loud sigh, and slowly walked back out the back entrance. Theodore saw this, and wondered what was wrong with Simon, so he followed after him. Theodore watched as Simon sat atop some old crates next to the delivery depository, burying his face into his hands.

"Simon?" Theodore asked, as he approached his brother. "Are you alright?"

Simon sighed, before facing Theodore, "I've been better."

"We'll be out of this mess soon enough..." Theodore said.

"That's not it, that's not it..." Simon said.

"What is it?" Theodore asked.

"Theodore..." Simon began, "do you realize that we're pretty much heading two steps back?"

"Huh?" Theodore asked.

"If it wasn't for Alvin, we'd all already be on our way home," Simon said, "but no... he insisted we steal a bunch of medication for these guys... and for what? Just to contribute to the ever-lingering drug war!"

"Well..." Theodore began, "war is such a noble adventure...?"

"Oh, Theodore," Simon responded, "don't talk like that... there's nothing noble about war... it just gets people killed... innocent people..."

"Then what's the point in having that whole war in Iraq?" Theodore asked.

"Oh, probably so they can make a sitcom about it twenty years after it ends..." Simon remarked, sarcastically.

Theodore paused. "Was that a joke, Simon?"

"Yes, Theodore, that was a joke..." Simon said.

"Oh." Theodore responded. "But, even if we didn't get these drugs, we wouldn't all be going home..."

"Of course we would, Theodore," Simon said, "don't you remember, they said they were finished with us?"

"Yeah," Theodore agreed, "but don't you remember them saying they were going to have to keep Jeanette since she said she was going to work off the debt?"

Simon looked up. "I can't believe I just forgot all about Jeanette! And after we were talking about her not even ten minutes ago!"

"We get this stuff, and they let her go..." Theodore reminded Simon.

"But how low is that?" Simon asked. "Resorting to theft to bail a friend out? That's not right..."

"I doesn't seem right, does it?" Theodore asked.

"And what happens to people out there who really need these drugs?" Simon asked. "People who are in pain? People who are suffering? Instead, they're going to senseless people, who are looking to get high, and stoned..."

"I always wonder why they would want to do that anyway?" Theodore asked.

"Who knows?" Simon asked. "Probably the same reason alcoholics go on drinking binges, just to get drunk."

"I thought they did that so they could spend the weekend sleeping in jail?" Theodore asked.

"No, that's that Otis Campbell character from the old Andy Griffith show," Simon said, "real alcoholics aren't like that."

Miss Miller couldn't sleep. She kept worrying about her missing girls. Worrying about where they could be. Worrying about what could've happened to them. Worrying about somebody kidnapping them. Miss Miller laid awake in her bed, silently. She hoped that she would suddenly hear the sounds of the front door opening, and closing, followed by the chipettes calling out for her. She waited for hours for those sounds, still hoping she would hear them, but they were never to be heard. Finally, Miss Miller got out of bed, slipped on her slippers, grabbed her house coat, and strolled downstairs to the front door. She peered outside, to see if maybe the girls were on their way down the sidewalk. From either direction. Feeling helpless, Miss Miller randomly left the house, and started looking for her girls again, in the dead of night. With still no sign of them, Miss Miller went into the park, where she happened to find Dave sitting on a bench.

"David?" Miss Miller asked.

"Oh, Miss Miller..." Dave said, not really facing, "couldn't sleep?"

"No, I couldn't..." Miss Miller said, sitting next to Dave, "I kept lying awake in bed, just hoping I'd eventually hear them coming through the front door, letting me know they're okay."

"I know..." Dave said, "I kept waiting to hear Alvin's harmonica hum up a tune in the middle of the night... doesn't look like that's going to happen."

Miss Miller sighed, sadly.

"Look, try not to worry too much, Miss Miller," Dave said, "after all, look at what the kids have been through before?"

"Well..." Miss Miller began.

"I'm sure the kids are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves..." Dave said, somberly.

"Well..." Miss Miller said, again.

"But, boy, I just wish I knew where they were, and what they're up to..." Dave finished.

"Me too, David," Miss Miller agreed, "me too."

Inside the pharmacy, everyone else continued to gather all the drugs they could on their list.

"What exactly do these guys do with all these drugs?!" Brittany aSked.

"Well," the hostage began, "sometimes they keep some for themselves, though most of the time, they just re-sell them again..."

"So you're a middle man for middle men?" Eleanor asked.

"I was..." the hostage said, "I'm definitely not doing this anymore... it's too dangerous..."

"Then why would you do it in the first place?" Brittany asked.

"War is such a noble adventure..." the hostage said.

"Calling for the most noble of people!" Alvin said, proudly, as the others groaned.

"The drug war?" Eleanor asked.

"Precisely," the hostage said, "but damn, the drug war's probably even deadly than the war in Iraq!"

"Where in the world are Simon and Theodore?" Brittany asked.

"Uh oh..." Alvin said, "they're probably doing something brave and noble!"

"Well, war's such a noble adventure..." Brittany said, sarcastically.

Alvin dropped what he was doing, and searched the entire building for his brothers, until finally, he stepped out back to see if they gave them the slip, but saw them off to the side among some wooden crates next to the loading dock.

"What's the matter?" Alvin asked, approaching his brothers.

"I think Simon's having... um... an... 'identity crisis'?" Theodore said.

"Well, I know his identity..." Alvin said, "he's Simon Seville, younger brother of Alvin Seville, older brother of Theodore Seville, middle son of David Seville, who knows a barber in Seville."

"Dave knows a barber in Seville?" Theodore asked.

"No!" Alvin said. "Look Simon, what's the beef? How can you just goof off when we've got work to do?"

"Look, Alvin," Simon said, "in all honesty, I refuse to be a party to your little scheme here."

"There's no party, Simon," Alvin said, "nobody brought no chips or coke or anything!"

"What I mean is, I refuse to participate in this theft of drugs." Simon said.

"Fine, be that way." Alvin shrugged. "Well, what about you, Theodore?"

"What about me, what?" Theodore asked.

"You gonna come back in and help, or are you going to party poop out here with Simon?" Alvin asked.

Theodore wasn't sure what he should do, but he looked over at Simon for another opinion.

Simon sighed, "go ahead Theodore, I need some time to think to myself, anyway..."

"Come on, Theodore!" Alvin said, as he grabbed his youngest brother by the elbow, and yanked him into the building, as Simon continued to sit on the crates outside, looking at his watch, and realizing they only have an hour and a half left before sunrise. "How are we doing?" Alvin asked, once back inside.

"We're two-thirds of a way done with the list..." Eleanor said.

"So if they couldn't buy all of this with fifty thousand dollars," Alvin began, "then how much does all of this cost?"

"In drug dealing?" The hostage asked. "Nowadays, roughly five million dollars."

"Is there even enough trees in the country to make that much money?" Brittany asked.

"They get 'em." The hostage said. "One way, or another, they get 'em."

"Well, no wonder we're in such an economical crisis right now..." Eleanor said. "All that money being wasted on drugs?"

"It's sad, but it's true..." the hostage said.

After several more minutes, the job was finally done.

"Great," Alvin said, "now all we have to do is get this stuff back to those guys, and we're all free to go! By the way, is there a gas station on this street?"

"Two blocks down," the hostage said, "why?"

"Just thinking about lifting some gas," Alvin said, "fill up that little four wheeler we found, that'd save us a lot of time!"

Without anything else being said, Alvin raced out the back door.

"Where are you going?" Simon called out to him.

"To get some gas for the four wheeler, we're all done here!" Alvin called back.

Simon sighed, as he slipped off the crates, and walked back into the building.

"Thanks for the help, Simon," Brittany said, sarcastically, "we're all finished."

"Don't worry about a thing," Simon said, "I'll take care of the clean-up, you guys just go ahead, and I'll catch up."

The rest of the crew walked out of the building, while Simon went back inside, and straightened up the store front. Afterwards, he turned off the lights, folded up the blankets nailed over the windows, and put them back where Alvin found them. When that was finished, Simon went back to the fuse box, and flipped the swtich for the security cameras again, making sure the monitors were reconnected, in the office. When they came back on, Simon prepared to leave the building as well, until something up on the wall caught his eyes. A phone. 


	9. We're Busted

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Nine "We're Busted"

Alvin struggled with the heavy gas can he was carrying across the street, where the four wheeler he and the rest of his little group were travelling on, at the base of a ridge in the middle of nowhere. Pushing it downhill wasn't a picnic, but pushing it uphill would be near impossible, especially with how steep the ridge was in some parts. At the foot of the ridge, all but Simon was waiting for him, after they had robbed the pharmacy across the street to deliver a hoard of brand name drugs for two crooked drug dealers.

"Hey, where's Simon?" Alvin asked.

"I think he's busy turning the cameras back on." Theodore said.

"Oh well," Alvin said, as he filled up the gas tank in the four wheeler. "Now we'll be able to get back to their place in half the time it took us to get down here!"

"You're forgetting something, Alvin." Eleanor pointed out.

"What's that?" Alvin asked.

"We don't have a key to ignite the engine." Eleanor said.

"Ah, don't worry," Alvin said, as he finished fueling up their vehicle, "Simon can hot wire it for us!"

"Boy, I can't wait to get back up there so we can get out of here!" Brittany said.

"And don't forget," Eleanor added, "we give them the drugs, they give us Jeanette!"

"Yes, that's the most important aspect right there!" Brittany agreed.

After a few more minutes of waiting, Simon finally caught up with the others.

"Alright," Simon said, with a smile, "it's all taken care of..."

"Great!" Alvin interrupted. "Now how about hot wiring this thing for us, so we can get up there?"

"What?" Simon asked. "Okay..."

Simon reluctantly got on his hands, and knees, looking for the right wires to jump to start the engine.

"Boy, you kids are somethin' else..." the dealers' former middle man remarked.

"Yeah, we are pretty special!" Alvin boasted, as the others silently groaned.

After a few seconds, there was a backfire, before the engine began running.

"There, that should do it!" Simon said, over the engine.

"Let's go!" Alvin commanded.

Shortly later, the six of them were riding up the same path they took to get to town. It was still relatively slow, considering the amount of people, and cargo weighing down the little vehicle, but it was still significantly faster than walking back up there. Even as the skies slowly began to turn from pitch black, to navy blue.

"So, what kept you, Simon?" Alvin asked.

"I solved our problems!" Simon said, with a smile.

"How's that?" Theodore asked.

"I called the police, and..." Simon began.

"You what?!" Both Alvin, and the middle man shrieked.

"I called the police, and left an anonymous tip about the dealers' operation atop this ridge," Simon explained, "it'll take them awhile to get here since their station is out in civilization, but they'll be here before long to bust them up!"

"Phew!" Alvin wiped his forehead. "I was afraid you ratted us out!"

"Boy, those guys are gonna be pissed at you kids," the middle man said, "if they give the cops the slip, they'll hunt each, and everyone of you down, I swear! That's how they got me."

"Again," Simon responded, "the police can put us under their protection."

Up the ridge they went, at a steady pace, and finally, making it back to the operation, just making it before sunrise.

"What's that noise?" The first crook asked, hearing the revving outside.

"Sounds like a 'cicle..." the second crook said, before the noise died down, as Simon disconnected the wires.

"We made it!" Brittany squealed. "Come on, let's get this over with!"

The group wasted no time in inviting themselves back into the building, announcing they bare gifts.

"Special delivery!" Alvin shouted. "Once again, the medicine man makes house calls!"

"What the hell..." the crooks mumbled, as they stepped out into the hallway.

"Woah, those twerps are back!" The second of the crooks said.

"Darn tootin'," Alvin said, "and here's what the medicine man ordered..."

The kids handed over the shopping baskets full of brand name drugs, stunning the drug dealers.

"I can't believe you kids pulled it off!" The first crook said, as he went through the inventory.

"Nothin' to it." Alvin said.

"Okay," Simon told the group, quietly, "they have their drugs, now let's get Jeanette, and get out of here!"

"Right," Brittany told Simon, before speaking up to the crooks. "Okay, you got your drugs, now can you let us have my sister back?"

"Your what?" The first crook asked.

"You know what!" Brittany barked. "My sister! You said you were keeping her here to pay off her debt if we didn't come back, well, we came back, so let her go already!"

"Oh, yeah," the second crook began, "we already let her go."

Silence.

"What do you mean?" Eleanor asked.

"Well," the first crook began, "let's just say she doesn't work here anymore."

"You killed her?!" Brittany asked.

"Nah, we didn't do that," the second crook said, "we just sent her away for her next paycheck."

"And what would that be, exactly?" Simon asked.

"Hey, we don't snitch." The first crook said, with a chuckle.

Brittany just stood there with a blank expression on her face, as her eye began twitching. After all that, after being going through the trouble to break into a pharmacy, and steal a slue of drugs to bail out Jeanette, they come back to find Jeanette's been taken away by someone else? As if Brittany's brain were a fuse box, Brittany could actually feel a fuse blow inside her head. Brittany snapped, and amazingly tackled the two crooks to the ground, much to everyone's surprise, as she began trying to punch the first crook, in the face, repeatedly.

"Where's my sister?!" The screamed, at the top of her lungs. "I want my sister!!! You better bring her back!!!"

The second of the crooks grabbed Brittany, and threw her across the hallway, slamming her into the wall, as he, and their accomplice overpowered her.

"Alright, enough is too much!" Alvin said, leading another attack.

The first crook was met with four angry chipmunks, all of which he tried to keep at bay, all the while, the other two kept Brittany pinned the ground.

"Let me go!!!" Brittany barked.

"Shut ya yap, bitch!" The second crook commanded, as the accomplice cocked his gun.

As the middle man watched all of this unfold, he decided he better do something to help, so saying, he used all the strength he could to surprise the crook, in a head lock, and try to pull him down to the floor.

"Give up the girl!" He demanded. "You said if we got you the dope, you'd let her go!"

"Man, weren't you listening?!" The first crook struggled to say. "We already let her go, we just simply sent her into a new line of work!"

Brittany struggled to get up, but she was still pinned to the ground, and this time, the second crook clamped his hand over her mouth, to silence her, while the accomplice placed the barrel his gun up against Brittany's crotch, and pulled the trigger. Brittany's face twisted in pain. The other chipmunks continued to use all the strength they could work up to pummel the other crook, while the middle man continued to keep him in a head lock, trying to bring him down, but he just wasn't strong enough. Suddenly, the mayhem was detinated by the sounds of sirens, growing louder, and louder.

"What the hell is that?!" The second crook asked, taking his hand away from Brittany's mouth.

"That would probably be the police!" Simon said, relieved.

In the moment of confusion, the first crook knocked the middle man down, freeing himself from the head lock.

"Let's go!" He yelled, as his partner, and their accomplice jumped up from the ground. "Don't nobody try to follow us, or you're done for!"

With the accomplice keeping his aim on them at all times, the crooks ran out of the building, via their 'emergency' escape in another back room, and into the foliage, they disappeared, just as the police pulled up to the building, while the chipmunks, and the middle man ran out to meet them.

"They took off in that direction!" Simon pointed out, as the police began exiting their vehicles.

A few cops took off, on foot, in the direction of which Simon was pointing, to try and catch the crooks, while a few others burst into the house, seeing if anyone else was inside.

"So this is the crack house, huh?" The captain asked the group.

"It sure is." Simon said.

"Enough about that," Brittany said, "they did something with my sister!"

"What did they do?" The captain asked.

"I don't know, but she's gone!" Brittany shrieked.

"We don't know what they've done with her," Eleanor said, "they said they were going to keep her to work off the fifty thousand dollars that went missing, but..."

"Wait a minute..." the captain interrupted, "did you say fifty thousand dollars?"

"Yes..." Eleanor said.

"Was it in a small, cardboard box?" The captain asked.

"Yeah, it was." Alvin said. "I found it on my doorstep, but then I later gave it to Jeanette go guard for me, then these guys came to get the money back, but we couldn't find it anymore, so they kidnapped us, and Jeanette had to work off her debt since the money became her responsibilty, and..."

Brittany punched Alvin across the face, knocking him out. "You little punk! This is all your fault!"

"Okay, settle down now..." the captain began, as Brittany pulled Alvin up, and started chocking him.

"If you didn't give that money to Jeanette, she wouldn't be missing! This is all your fault you worm! There ain't no way you're gonna live this one down!" Brittany screamed, while Eleanor tried to pull her loose.

"Calm down!" The captain yelled. "Young lady, I understand your sister is missing, and I understand your frustration, but you need to remain calm, so we can figure something out!"

"What's there to figure out?!" Brittany asked. "My sister's missing, we gotta find her!"

Just then, the other officers returned from around the house.

"We lost them..." one of them said.

"I was afraid of that..." the middle man said.

"Who are you?" The captain asked.

The middle man sighed, as he offered his wrists.

"What's with this?" The captain asked.

"Aren't you going to cuff me?" The middle man asked.

"Why?" The captain asked.

"I've been a part of this little cartel for a long time now..." the middle man said, "I'm the one who originally sold them fifty thousand dollars' worth of generic drugs, and when they found out, I paniced, and left the money on their doorstep... so if it's anybody's fault for getting them into this mess, it's me..."

"Is that so?" The captain asked.

"Yep..." the middle man said, "and I was the one who robbed the pharmacy down in town, so I could try to bail these kids out."

The chipmunks couldn't believe their ears. This guy just took the blame for them robbing the pharmacy, letting them off the hook.

"Well, these are some rather serious offenses..." the captain said, as he reached for his cuffs.

"Wait..." Alvin spoke up, as he came to.

"What?" The captaina asked.

"He... he didn't rob the pharmacy..." Alvin said, "I did..."

"How's that?" The captain asked again, while the other kids were trying to wrap their minds around what Alvin just said.

"I didn't know what they were going to do..." Alvin said, "they didn't have their money, they didn't have their drugs... I thought they were going to kill us... since the money disappeared, I thought if I got them their drugs, they'd let us all go in one piece..."

The other kids couldn't believe what Alvin just said. He actually admitted his involvement in this entire situation.

"They told me not to," Alvin admitted, "but again, I thought if I got them the drugs, they'd let us all go... especially Jeanette, since they were keeping her, when they shouldn't have... because if anyone should have been held responsible for the money, it should be me since I found it, and tried to worm Jeanette into watching it for me..."

The captain wasn't sure what to make of this situation.

"Why don't we all talk about this downtown?" The captain asked. "I know a couple of grown ups who will be happy to see you kids again..."

After a long while, heading downtown, the kids finally got to see Dave and Miss Miller again. Happily, the kids raced over to their parents, who were just as happy to see them again.

"It's great to see you kids again!" Dave said, as he embraced his sons.

"Oh, yes indeed!" Miss Miller said, cuddling Brittany, and Eleanor, not realizing Jeanette was missing.

"You kids actually busted up a small drug cartel?" Dave asked.

"It wasn't easy," Alvin said, "but we did it!"

"You know, these are some really special kids," the captain said, "I think they would probably deserve a reward..."

"The only reward we want is to get Jeanette back!" Brittany said.

"Where is Jeanette?" Miss Miller asked, worried.

"It's my fault, Miss Miller!" Alvin went ahead. "I found the crooks' drug money on our doorstep, and I didn't want people coming to me for handouts, so I suckered Jeanette into guarding the money for me, so as far as they were concerned, Jeanette was responsible for the money."

"Yeah, so Jeanette offered to pay off her debt since the money went missing..." Eleanor continued.

"Oh, so that's what that box of money was doing in the basement..." Miss Miller deduced.

"You had the money?!" Brittany asked.

"Yes, I did," Miss Miller said, "and I was waiting for you girls to get home, so I could get an explanation... but what about Jeanette?"

"We don't know where she is!" Brittany said. "We offered to get the drugs they were originally wanting since we couldn't give them their money back... they said if we got the drugs, Jeanette wouldn't have to pay off her debt, but when we came back she was gone!"

"Oh no..." Miss Miller said.

"We'll get an all-points bulletin out for her," the captain said, "we'll find her." 


	10. Search and Destroy

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Ten "Search and Destroy"

Down the ridge, a tree stump among the foliage seemed to be moving involuntarily. Slowly, the top of the stump raised, and a pair of eyes peered out the opening.

"Is the cost clear?" One voice asked.

"Yep." The other voice responded, as the lid was closed again.

The drug dealers managed to give the police the slip by ducking into a tree stump, that served as the secret entrance for a network of tunnels they had within the inside of the ridge. Down into the tunnel they went, until they made it into an opening, where they had electricity powered by a generator, a cozy little cove, they could possibly keep hold down there for extended periods of time.

"You think that bastard called the cops on us?" The second crook asked.

"Nah, that guy's too big a chicken," the first crook said, "if anything, I bet it was those rotten kids!"

"So what now?" The second crook asked. "The cops more than likely busted up our joint, they probably already took away all our dope!"

"We'll teach those kids a lesson not to mess with dangerous crooks like us!" The first crook said, as he opened a glass case, full of modified shot guns.

Back in civilization, the chipmunks plastered posters of Jeanette in any place they could. Store front windows, telephone poles, lamp posts, public bulletin boards, even going into the community playgrounds, and parks, passing them out. After retrieving the drug money of a little less than fifty thousand dollars, the police offered the amount as reward money for any information regarding Jeanette's whereabouts.

"Not that I'm not proud of you, Alvin," Dave said, as he talked to his son, in his bedroom, "but do you realize the seriousness of spending that money you found?"

"I do now..." Alvin said, "but Dave, a box full of money is any kids dream!"

"I have no doubts, Alvin," Dave said, "but that money didn't belong to you, you shouldn't have tried to keep it, and spend it on yourself."

"I didn't spend all of it on myself!" Alvin said.

"Oh?" Dave asked.

"I loaned some to Theodore," Alvin began, "payed off the money I owed to Eleanor, and Brittany... Simon didn't want to keep what I owed him, and then I bought lunch for someone at school..."

"Well..." Dave said, "it's... nice... that you payed off those whom you owed money to, and so on... but still, you should have told me about that money..."

"I didn't want you to find out, and make me give the money to the police." Alvin admitted.

"Ignoring the fact that it was drug money, imagine if that money really belonged to someone who lost it," Dave said, "wouldn't it trouble you knowing you were spending someone else's missing money?"

"Maybe..." Alvin said.

"Maybe?" Dave asked. "You wouldn't want someone spending money you lost, would you?"

"Of course not!" Alvin said.

"Well, it would be a similar case." Dave pressed.

"I get it, Dave..." Alvin sighed.

"Do you really?" Dave asked.

"Yeah," Alvin said, "I'd feel bad knowing that I spent someone else's missing money..."

"Well," Dave said, "at least the money's been turned in, minus the little bit your already spent."

"I wonder if the cops ever found those two guys who fled?" Alvin asked.

"I don't know," Dave said, "but I hope they do, we need to take as many drug dealers out of action as possible."

"Did they return those drugs to the pharmacy?" Alvin asked.

"From what I understand." Dave said, as he got off of Alvin's bed. "And, no, the police aren't going to hold it against you."

"Great..." Alvin sighed, in relief.

Brittany and Eleanor walked up to every person they came across, passing out flyers in the park.

"Have you seen our sister?" Brittany asked, handing a flyer to a couple sitting on the bank of the water fountain.

"She's been missing since last night." Eleanor added.

"No, can't say I have," the woman said, "honey?"

"No." Her husband said.

"Thanks, anyway." Brittany and Eleanor said, walking off.

"Nothing." Eleanor said.

"At least one person has seen her." Brittany said, trying to perk themselves up.

"That was someone who was at our little concert last month, and got our autographs." Eleanor reminded Brittany.

"Oh yeah..." Brittany said, dejected.

At the frozen yogurt shoppe, Simon and Theodore handed out the flyers to all the customers, as well as the employees.

"Is there any place we haven't covered, Simon?" Theodore asked, his mouth full of yogurt, as they exited the shoppe.

"I think we've just about covered everything within a five-block radius of our neighborhood." Simon said, realizing he and Theodore only had five flyers left.

"I hope we can find Jeanette soon." Theodore said.

"Me too, Theodore..." Simon said, as he folded the remaining flyers into his pocket.

Brittany and Eleanor walked home, discontently, where they found Miss Miller on the phone, talking to anybody, and everybody, she knows, to be on the hunt for Jeanette.

"... Well, please call me as soon as you know something..." Miss Miller said, "thank you... bye..." she hung up.

"Any luck?" Eleanor asked.

"I'm afraid not," Miss Miller said, wiggling her tired fingers from holding the phone so much, "how about you girls?"

"We gave out just about all the flyers we had," Brittany said, with only two left, "only one person's seen her, though."

"But she was at our concert last month, and got our autographs." Eleanor reminded Brittany again.

"Oh yeah..." Brittany said again.

"I know the boys have been passing out flyers as well," Miss Miller said, "I guess there's nothing more to do now, but wait, and see if we hear from anybody..."

"Which will be never..." Brittany said, dropping the remaining flyers.

"Brittany..." Miss Miller began.

"Why kid ourselves, Miss Miller?" Brittany asked. "Jeanette's gone for good... only those two jerks know where she is, because they're the ones who got rid of her, but they won't talk!"

"That doesn't necessarily mean Jeanette is gone for good..." Eleanor said, with false optimism.

"If it didn't, we would've heard something by now!" Brittany said.

"Sad truth is sometimes people are missing for years..." Miss Miller said, making not nly Brittany, but herself feel worse than before.

"Jeanette's gone for good..." Brittany moped, "we'll never see her again!"

"Sure we will, Brittany," Eleanor said, trying to take her oldest sister by the arm, only to have her pull away, "we can't give up hope, Brittany..."

"Ain't no hope to give up, Eleanor..." Brittany moaned, as she stormed upstairs, and slammed her bedroom door shut.

Eleanor sat on the floor.

"I hate to admit it, but I feel the same way..." Eleanor admitted.

"I know you do, sweetheart," Miss Miller said, "I think we all do."

"I think..." Eleanor began, "I think one of us should've stuck around with her... for insurance... for security... for protection..."

"Then we'd be missing two children..." Miss Miller said.

Eleanor didn't think so. She was sure if maybe she stuck with Jeanette, she'd still be with them. She knows how impressionable Jeanette, and she couldn't help but think she was forced into going somewhere she didn't want to, but was too scared to say anything. If only she was there, maybe she could've helped Jeanette. If only she was there, maybe she could've saved Jeanette. If only. That's all Eleanor kept hearing in her head. If only.

"If only..." Eleanor mumbled. "If only..."

Simon and Theodore also returned home.

"How did it go?" Dave asked.

"Well, we gave out exactly 245 flyers at various locations across town..." Simon said.

"But nobody's seen her." Theodore said.

"We'll still help out Miss Miller, and the girls, in anyway we can." Dave said.

Upstairs, Alvin was also having a case of the "if onlys". If only he hadn't been so greedy. If only had hadn't talked Jeanette into guarding the money. If only he hadn't decided to keep the money. If only he hadn't even found the money. If only he didn't even like money. Later in the afternoon, a reporter from one of the local community newspapers came over to talk to both the Sevilles and the Millers about the recent events as of late, and the disapperance of Jeanette. While both Dave and Miss Miller expressed pride in their kids for busting up the little drug cartel, they both expressed how sad it is that Jeanette went missing in the process. For the article, Alvin was asked to be quoted saying "Jeanette, if you're out there, and you read this, I want to offer you my sincerest apologies for getting you into this mess." Later that night, Brittany and Eleanor got ready for bed, but instead of getting into her own bed, Brittany got into Jeanette's bed.

"What are you doing?" Eleanor asked.

"Until Jeanette comes home," Brittany said, "which I know will be never, I'm going to keep her bed warm for her."

Eleanor paused for a moment, before decided to get into Jeanette's bed as well.

"Me too." Eleanor said.

Out in the night, two figures made their way, slowly, into the neighborhood. Onward they walked, until they made it between the Seville house, and the Miller house.

"This is it, ain't it?" The second crook asked.

"Yep." The first crook said. "I have a photographic memory."

"Which one you wanna take?" The second crook asked.

"I remember the little red capped twerp heading into this one on the right," he said, "I'll take it."

"Fine," the second crook said, "I'll take those other two girls out here."

"Make sure to scare them a little, just before you knock them off," the first crook said, "I'm in the mood for seeing wet underwear..."

With that, each of the two crooks went up the walkway of the two houses, and as if waiting for a cue, they both used the blunt end of their shotguns to knock the front doors down.

"What was that?!" Theodore asked, startled.

"Sounded like some kind of crash downstairs!" Simon said, also startled.

"You think Dave dropped something down in the kitchen?" Alvin asked.

The boys got out of their beds, and exited their room, however once they got to the top of the stairs, and saw the familiar face of the drug dealer they previously did 'business' with, they paniced, and ran back into their room, though the crook chased after them. The boys braced themselves against the door, and tried to hold the crook back, but he was too strong for them. At that moment Dave happened to step out of his bedroom, to see what in the world was going on, though he was a little too late.

"Hey!" Dave called out, the second before the crook made his way into the boys' room.

"Please don't hurt us!" Theodore cried.

"Fat chance, chubby!" The crook said, pointing his shotgun at Theodore.

Alvin jumped in front of his brothers.

"Don't you dare!" Alvin said.

"Watch me!" The crook said, as he changed the aim of the gun, and pointed it right between Alvin's eyes.

Brittany and Eleanor huddled together, in Jeanette's bed, as the second of the two crooks waved his shotgun in front of them.

"Think I won't use this?" He asked them. "Huh?"

"Just leave alone, you jerk!" Brittany said, with a tremble in her voice.

"Jerk?" The crook laughed. "You callin' me a jerk?!"

"What's going on here?!" Miss Miller said, as she stepped into the room, with an umbrella in her hand.

"Run, Miss Miller!" Brittany cried.

"He'll kill you!" Eleanor also cried.

Miss Miller wasted no time in bludgeoning the crook with her umbrella.

"You get that gun away from my girls, or you're going to be sorry, you punk!" Miss Miller spoke, each time the umbrella hit the man's head.

The crook wasn't able to dodge Miss Miller's attacks, because she managed to hit him in every direction he bobbed, or swayed. With all her strength, Miss Miller swung the umbrella from the side, hitting the crook in the side of the head, knocking him to the floor. Using the hook of the handle, Miss Miller hooked the man's gun, and tried to pull it away from the crook, but he refused to let go. Brittany and Eleanor decided they needed to help Miss Miller, so they hopped out of bed, and ran over to the commotion, to which, they both dug their teeth deep into the man's hands, causing him to let go of the gun. As well, Dave and the first of the two crooks were fighting over possession of the gun.

"You get that gun away from my boys!" Dave demanded.

"Your boys are done for, and so are you!" The crook said, as he tried to keep Dave from handling the gun.

The boys ran over, and attempted to help Dave over power the crook, and take hold of his gun, but he kicked them down.

"Hey!" Dave said.

"What am I wasting my time for?" The crook asked himself, as he kicked Dave in the stomach.

Dave grabbed his stomach, and fell to his knees, as the crook quickly cocked his gun, and aimed for Dave's head.

"No!" Alvin screamed, as he charged at the villian, just as the police pulled up outside.

A shot was heard, and the police split up to race into both houses.

"Gunfire, we got gunfire!" One officer was heard, speaking into his walky-talky. "Requesting backup!"

Upstairs, Alvin miraculously managed to knock the gun out of the crook's hand before he could shoot Dave. It the force of the gun hitting the floor, along with Alvin, the caused it to discharge, into the bedroom wall.

"Little twerp..." the crook mumbled, as he lunged for Alvin, only to be brought down, as Dave grabbed his legs, as he ran by.

It made no matter to him, because even on the floor, he reached for his gun, just as the police ran into the room.

"Freeze! Police officers!" They yelled, as they drew their guns.

Shortly later, both of the drug dealers were finally in custody, as the police forced them into the back of their cars.

"How did you know they were here?" Dave asked the captain.

"You that guy that who used to work for them?" The captain asked. "He tipped us off."

"He did say they were going to hunt us down for turning them in..." Simon mentioned.

"Looks like that's what the case was," the captain said, "at any rate, these two guys are going to be put away for a long, long time."

"Thanks for all your help, captain." Dave said, as he shook the captain's hand.

"Thank you." The captain responded, as the police drove off.

Dave and the boys went next to the Miller house, to check on the girls.

"Are you all alright?" Dave asked.

"Sure are!" Miss Miller said, blowing across the tip of her umbrella as if it were the barrel of a gun.

"That guy wasn't kidding when he said they'd come looking for us!" Brittany said.

"But at least the worst of that is over." Alvin said.

The next morning, when Brittany and Eleanor came downstairs, they saw Miss Miller was on the phone with the police department.

"... I see..." Miss Miller said, sounding very disappointed, "well... thank you anyway, I appreciate it... you too... bye..."

"Who was that?" Eleanor asked.

"The police," Miss Miller said, "those two guys still refuse to talk."

"About Jeanette?" Brittany asked.

Miss Miller sadly nodded.

"Then make them torture 'em!" Brittany said.

"Brittany..." Miss Miller began.

"Torture 'em until they talk!!!" Brittany screamed.

"Brittany..." Miss Miller said again.

"Well..." Brittany moaned.

"They've grilled them, and everything, they're firm in not talking." Miss Miller sighed.

"That does it..." Brittany said, walking off. "We'll never see Jeanette again!" 


	11. Three Years Later

Cold Hard Cash - Chapter Eleven "Three Years Later"

The next three years seemed to take a long time to pass, very slowly, but sure enough, graduation day had come, as Dave watched Alvin, Simon, and Theodore, while Miss Miller watched Brittany and Eleanor step up on the stage in the school auditorium, in their caps and gowns, each accepting their diplomas on their final day of high school. After the ceremony, the students, and their parents, met up in the gymnasium, where the graduation party was being held.

"I can't even begin to tell you kids how proud I am of all of you!" Dave said.

"Yes, I don't believe I would be able to find the right words either." Miss Miller said, with a tear in her eye.

The kids all thanked them, proud of themselves for finishing school, though Brittany promptly frowned.

"What's the matter, Brittany?" Miss Miller asked, expecting to hear her say she's not ready to leave home, and enter the real world just yet.

"Jeanette should be here..." Brittany said, sadly, "this would be the biggest night in her life for her!"

The others agreed, Jeanette would've been very proud of herself on graduation night.

"She would've looked wonderful in her cap and gown," Eleanor commented, "with her glasses and everything, she'd look like a professor!"

"It wouldn't surprise me if Jeanette had become a professor of sorts, later in life..." Simon said, with a sigh.

The school did, however, name Jeanette an honorary graduate, with her solid 4.0 grade-point-average while she was attending school, the faculty had no doubts she'd still maintain a high grade-point-average, and as a result, gave Jeanette the honor due to her disappearance. Something Miss Miller, and her sisters, appreciated very much. Everybody was sure that once she was finished with grade school, that Jeanette would work hard to get into the university of her choice. Brittany on the other hand, she decided she was fed up with school, and would just as soon find herself a day job. Brittany strolled through town one day, with the classifieds in hand, searching for a job. She came up to a corner, and waited among other pedestrians to cross the street, while across the street, a very young prostitute grabbed a seat on the bus stop bench, and lit up a cigarette. Something about the prostitute, with her flowing brown hair, her black and red striped tube tob, her black and gray plaid skirt, the fishnet stockings, and leather knee-high boots, intriqued Brittany for some reason. When the red hand turned into a green walker, and the pedestrians crossed the street, Brittany slowly approached the prostitute, and suddenly felt her heart sink into her stomach.

"... Jeanette?" Brittany asked.

The prostitute looked up at Brittany, making eye contact with her. The prostitute stared into Brittany's blue eyes, while Brittany stared into her green eyes, until the prostitute spoke up.

"Nah, you got the wrong person." She said, going back to her cigarette.

Brittany could've easily said 'my mistake', and move on. Jeanette's not the the only girl with brown hair, and green eyes, but for some reason, Brittany was so sure this prostitute was her missing sister.

"Jeanette, it's me, Brittany!" Brittany said.

"My name's not Jeanette," the prostitute said, sounding annoyed, "it's Tina, you've got the wrong person."

Brittany grabbed Tina's arm, and started pulling her away from the bench. "I know it's you Jeanette, you need to come on home!"

Tina resisted. "Look you dumb bitch, will you get lost?! You're crampin' my style here!"

"Nothing doing," Brittany said, as she began to run off, dragging Tina along with her, "you're coming home where you belong!"

"I only get in bed with men," Tina said, "but if you're wantin' my services that badly, I charge 500 extra for women!"

Moments later, Brittany drug Tina all the way home, and as soon as she set her foot through the front door, she began calling frantically for her mother, and her youngest sister, who was about to leave for college herself.

"Miss Miller!" Brittany yelled. "Eleanor! Come quick! Miss Miller, Eleanor!"

Miss Miller and Eleanor both rushed to the front door.

"What in the world's the matter?!" Miss Miller asked, before pausing to see who Brittany was with. "Who is this... this... this skank?"

"It's Jeanette!" Brittany insisted.

"Jeanette?!" Miss Miller asked, clutching her heart.

"For the hundreth time, my name is Tina," Tina yelled, breaking away from Brittany's grip, "I'm not this Jeanette broad you keep mistaking me for!"

Eleanor stood there, staring at Tina, not believing what she was seeing, and not going unoticed by her.

"Jealous?" Tina asked Eleanor.

Eleanor rubbed her eyes.

"What is going on here?" Miss Miler asked.

Tina snapped. "Look, I honestly don't know what's going on here, but this little bitch here kept saying I was some chick named Jeanette, and..."

"Don't you talk about my daughter that way to me, young lady!" Miss Miller commanded.

"Whatever..." Tina mumbled. "Can I go now, I've got customers waiting for me in the south side of town..."

"It's her, Miss Miller!" Brittany insisted. "It's her, I know it is!"

Miss Miller wasn't so sure. The young prostitute looked, and acted nothing like Jeanette, but Brittany kept insisting it was. "Well, there's one way we can find out..."

"DNA test?" Eleanor asked.

"Oh, hell no!" Tina said. "I'm not pissing in no cup in the middle of the afternoon!"

"I have a better idea..." Miss Miller said, taking the girls to a psychiatrist's office. "You see, this girl keeps telling my daughter she's not the girl she's mistaking her for, but Brittany keeps insisting this is her missing sister."

The psychiatrist looked at the last known photo taken of Jeanette, then looked at Tina.

"Well, I have to admit, there's really not much resemblance..."

"There, you heard from the doctor," Tina said, "can I go now?!"

"You wouldn't mind if I asked you just some random questions anyway, would you?" The psychiatrist asked.

"Pff, might as well," Tina barked, "doesn't look like I'll be keeping my appointments today, anyway."

The psychiatrist had his assistant take the Miller ladies into the next room, where the mirror was actually a window peering into the psychiatrist's office, so they could both see and hear the progress being made.

"Won't you lie down?" The psychiatrist offered to let her lie on the couch, rather than sit at the table.

"Only if you're gonna cough up some dough afterwards." Tina grumbled, still only focusing on her work.

"That's okay, you can stay seated if you want to, it doesn't matter." The psychiatrist rolled his chair over to where Tina was sitting, and pulled out a pen from his coat pocket. "Now, would please look at this pen?"

"Why?" Tina asked.

"I want to put you under, see if I can get to the root of any problem you have." The psychiatrist explained.

"The only problem I have is that little bitch, claiming I'm her sister!" Tina barked.

"Please," the psychiatrist pressed, "just stare at this pen."

Tina scoffed, and rolled her eyes before doing so.

"All your thoughts are on the pen." The psychiatrist said, slowly. "Only the pen..."

Tina stared at the pen.

"You're feeling very relaxed... almost sleepy... your eyelids are getting heavy... you can't stay awake..."

Surprisingly, Tina did start feeling very sleepy, and within a few second, fell asleep.

"Now open your eyes." The psychiatrist asked, as Tina obeyed. "I just want to ask you a few simple questions... get to know you a little better... why don't we start with your name?"

"My name..." Tina began, in a trance, "... my name is Jeanette Miller..."

Miss Miller's and Eleanor's eyes widened, and their jaws dropped. Brittany was right, she was Jeanette. They couldn't believe it.

"Jeanette, when was the last time you saw any of your family?" The psychiatrist asked.

"Three years ago." Tina said.

"What happened?" The psychiatrist asked.

"I offered to work off money that belonged to a pair of drug dealers... I was afraid they were going to kill me if I didn't..." Tina explained.

"What happened to that money?" The psychiatrist asked.

"I don't know," Tina said, "it just disappeared, but I was watching the money before it went missing... since it was my responsibility, I had to pay the consequences..."

"So did they let you work it off?" The psychiatrist asked.

"Yes, both of them... and their gunman... each took their turn... at having sex with me..." Tina explained, as Miss Miller, Brittany, and Eleanor turned paler by the minute, listening to the story. "They gave me 500 dollars each... and told me it was a start..."

"What happened after that?" The psychiatrist asked.

"They sent me away..." Tina said, "they called a contact, who paid fifty thousand dollars for me to work at his whore house..."

"What was that like?" The psychiatrist asked.

"It was hard... it was painful... it was scary..." Tina said, "when I first got there... I was treated very badly... I started out as a 'discount' prostitute... people who were short on cash, yet still wanted sexual favors, had to put up with me... they said it was because I was too dorky looking, and not as valuable as the other girls there."

"How many people did you usually see?" The psychiatrist asked.

"On most days," Tina began, "maybe five... eight at the most."

"Did you ever want to escape?" The psychiatrist asked.

"Everyday I was there... I'd try to write letters... make phone calls... make any contact I could with the outside world... but I was always caught, and always punished. I hated it there so much... until they re-educated me." Tina said.

"Re-educate?" The psychiatrist asked.

"I kept fighting too much... resisting... crying... acting like a baby... they said if I ever wanted to make it, I would have to clean up my act... I had to go through a training process... had to learn to go with the flow... give the people their money's worth... only then could I get promoted, and get treated better..." Tina went on.

"How did that work out?" The psychiatrist asked.

"It was odd at first... but... once I got used to it, it wasn't so bad... as a matter of fact, once I was finally able to move up, I started to like it... I liked it even better when they gave me my makeover..."

"Makeover?" The psychiatrist asked.

"I had to change my appearance," Tina said, "my glasses were ugly, my hair was always tied up in a ridiculous bun, my clothes were too big for me... they showed me how to make myself look more appealing, and in turn how it would help me get even more customers... Jeanette was too stupid sounding a name, so they changed it to Tina... they gave me contact lenses, I started letting my hair down... I wore figure friendly clothes... I used to trip over my own feet... I'm so graceful now..."

"How many people did you see then?" The psychiatrist asked.

"I don't know," Tina said, "after a while, I stopped counting."

"How much did you usually receive on a daily basis?" The psychiatrist.

"On average, anywhere between 10 and 15K." Tina said.

"Did you like what you were doing?" The psychiatrist asked.

"I sure did..." Tina began, "I was the only brunette in the operation... except for one redhead, all the other girls were mostly different shades of blonde... Being the only brunette, and whenever I wore dark clothes, I was mysterious, and they loved it... and it was so amazing... pretty soon I had people lined up waiting to spend thirty minutes with me..."

Miss Miller grimmaced, as did Brittany and Eleanor, as they continued to watch, and listen.

"Pretty soon, I was on top..." Tina said, "I was the most valuable girl in the entire operation... very valuable. Very important."

"Important?" The psychiatrist asked.

"Very important." Tina said. "Pretty soon, I was given my own private room, staff members would tend to me inbetween sessions... if a new girl was having trouble I'd mentor her."

"How long did this go on?" The psychiatrist.

"I'm not sure..." Tina thought for a bit, "maybe about a year and a half, or so... it took several months for me to get to where I was, though..."

"Then what?" The psychiatrist asked.

"I finally got to leave the house," Tina said, "I got to work the streets... it was really exciting..."

"Is this what you're doing now?" The psychiatrist asked.

"Yes." Tina said. "Most of my territory covers the western side of the city, but occasionally, word of my services is spread, so I find myself pretty much all over town."

"Where do you live now?" The psychiatrist asked.

"I still live at the whore house," Tina said, "but I only return late at night, get a few hours of actual sleep, then leave the next morning for work."

"I want to ask you something else, now..." the psychiatrist began, "have you given any thought to your family, at all?"

"Are you kidding?" Tina asked. "My family is what held me back!"

"Surly you don't believe that?" The psychiatrist asked.

"It's the truth!" Tina snapped. "... that Brittany... always kicking me around like a sick dog, always walking over me like a welcome mat, always treating me like bullshit... whenever she was through shitting on me, then'd come that pig, Eleanor, treating me like some poor little baby who couldn't tie it's own shoes, while the old crone always had her head in the clouds..."

"From what I understand, they were all really, really fond of you," the psychiatrist said, "they seem to really miss you, and want you home."

"Oh, please." Tina said. "Who gives a shit about them? I don't need them, I've made it on my own now, no thanks to them."

"You don't belong out there," the psychiatrist said, "you belong home with them... where they really love you..." the psychiatrist said.

"Quit lyin'!" Tina said, as she tried to get out of her seat, only to have the psychiatrist hold her down. "Let me go! Let me go!"

"Listen to me..." the psychiatrist pressed, "you're not a prostitute, you're not Tina... you're Jeanette Miller..."

"No!" Tina screamed. "I'm not that stupid, idiotic, dork anymore! I'm a valuable person now! You better let me go, I've connections who'll rub you out!"

"You don't want to sell yourself for sex, you want to return to your family..." the psychiatrist said, as Tina continued screaming, "now listen very carefully... I'm going to bring you out now... and when I do... you're going to be the exact same girl you always were... the girl your family has been looking for, the girl your family misses..."

Tina screamed harder, and louder, as she continued to try and worm her way out of the psychiatrist's grip, and leave the room, desperately not wanting to become the dorky, little pushover she was led to believe she once was. The psychiatrist brought his fingers up, and began the countdown.

"One... two... three..." he snapped his fingers.

The second he snapped his fingers, the screaming stopped, and the poor girl woke up, observing the room around her, unsure of what she was doing there.

"Where am I?" She asked, before realizing she was being held down in her chair. "Who are you?"

"Just someone trying to help you, but let me ask you... what's your name?" The psychiatrist asked.

"Jeanette..." Jeanette said, back to normal, "Jeanette Miller."

"Jeanette," the psychiatrist began, "when is the last time you saw your family?"

"I... I don't know... I can't remember" she said, sadly. "It... it's been so long... years, in fact..."

"Would you like to see them again?" He asked.

"More than anything," Jeanette said, as she began sniffling, "I really miss them... I just want to go home... I want to be with my family again..."

"I don't believe you'll have to look any further..." the psychiatrist said.

The door to his office was opened, as Miss Miller, Brittany, and Eleanor stepped back inside. Jeanette couldn't believe her eyes. She saw her family again for the first time in years. Without hesitation, Jeanette jumped out of her seat, and ran over to them, as they all extended their arms to embrace her, as she wept uncontrolably, so happy to finally be reunited with her loved ones again.

The end. 


End file.
